“Lady Bird’s” Beanie Feldstein just beautifully clapped back at people complimenting her weight loss

The relationship between women and their bodies is complicated, and it can be further complicated by the opinions of others. Lady Bird actress Beanie Feldstein recently lost some weight, and now she’s speaking out about the experience of losing weight as a woman in the public eye — and the well-meaning but unwanted comments she’s received about her appearance.

Beanie Feldstein’s thoughts are both insightful and super relatable to anybody who has ever struggled with their weight.

She opened up about how she has always struggled with her weight, and what it’s like to feel pressured by the people and institutions around you to change your body to suit them.

“My family, doctors, and society at large were constantly telling me that I was too heavy, that I needed to exercise more, that I should be smaller," she wrote for Refinery29. "I was pushed into trying Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig...and I absolutely hated it. It affected me deeply. I despised trying to lose weight and I resented everyone that made me feel like I had to.

Eventually, though, Beanie learned to feel comfortable in her own skin.

“I realized that once I stopped trying to get closer to what our society deems ideal, I felt free. I was so far from the norm that I felt no pressure to get anywhere close to it.

When she started performing in Hello Dolly recently, she ended up inadvertently losing weight by virtue of frequently dancing and performing, and people soon began complimenting her. We, as a society, tend to value thinness so much that it’s almost a reflex to compliment somebody if you notice they’ve lost weight.

But as Beanie points out, this can do more harm than good.

“The act of getting smaller is considered an achievement, and therefore they feel subliminal permission to comment on it, she says. “But here’s the issue: When everyone started telling me I looked smaller, I lost my beautiful mindset that took decades to find.

We love that Beanie spoke out about this important issue. She also brought up how sometimes — or most of the time — it’s probably better not to comment on other people’s bodies. (Unless you’re asked.) Body image is a deeply personal and complicated thing — and it should be nobody’s business but your own.