Back That Ass Up: Donkey Interrupts Robbery

Female donkeys: They’re just like us! So chatty, so brave. Such community watchdogs, those donkeys. Take, for example, Xavi, a 10-year-old lady donkey in Columbia that blew the whistle on organized crime. And by organized crime I mean three guys that tried to steal rum, oil, rice, cans of tuna and sardines from a small shop in the tiny north Caribbean town of Juan de Acosta.

Last week, the aforementioned trio of thieves tried to use Xavi as their getaway vehicle by forcing her to help them transport stolen wares. (It should be noted that they also stole Xavi before they heisted the general store. Riddle me this: Why wouldn’t they instead sell the donkey and then buy the goods with their dirty money? This is clearly how my criminal mind would work, but I mean, I guess I just don’t know what it’s like to really need sardines. And that’s fine).

But Xavi was not having any of that and she put her hoof down in a major way when she sounded the alarm around 2am with “a series of ‘hee-haws’” that drew nearby police to the scene.

The perps peeled out, leaving their precious rum behind, and Xavi cantered off into the moonlight, safe from harm and no longer an accessory to a thankless crime. She was detained by authorities before being claimed by her owner, and because of Xavi, the stolen goods were returned to the store and the Columbian drug cartel fell to its knees. That last part is not true at all. But the store did get its rum and stuff back.

Two words: Bad. Ass.

(FYI: You have no idea how hard it was for me to only make one of those puns).

Featured image via Shutterstock