I throw my bag on the floor, text my mom, order a pizza, and shoot…
“I’m one of those “I’m a bum when I’m in the house but Beyoncé when…
“I enjoy long, romantic strolls to the refrigerator.”-@OhWowThatsAwk
“All I want is to be so famous that I make national news when I…
“Been seeing a new boy recently. I hope other people can see him too, but…
“I just ordered a large pizza to eat by myself in the middle of the…
“Winged eyeliner is my only real life skill.”-@asukalangley
“Well, I just said my #1 crush at the moment is a cheeseburger. Sorry Ryan…
“I’m so short that all the ‘sexy whatever’ costumes fit me like a regular one…as…
“Whenever you feel sad just remember that there are billions of cells in your body…
“Went into a store w/ wet nails & asked the cashier 2 pull a cig…
“I’m answering your text immediately because all I do is stare at my phone. Let’s…
“It’s getting to that time of year again! The point where I stop shaving my…
“My favorite thing I do is constantly complain no one will date me while simultaneously…
“I wish the first rule of Crossfit was to not talk about Crossfit.”-@KTLCrump
“Beauty tip: Beardburn is a cheap way to get that red lipstick look without spending…
“I don’t think you should fake an orgasm. But if you do, a pretty convincing…
“Of course I ate chocolate for lunch, what a ridiculous question.“-@Christinetheth
“Having your name spelled right is the highest honor you can receive in the coffee…
“Can I just quit my job and go find myself?”-@SenoritaQuesita