“HIMYM’s” Ashley Williams talks super openly about her miscarriage at Whole Foods

Miscarriage is a subject that isn’t often talked about, and because of that, it’s widely believed that’s it’s uncommon. But it’s not. Miscarriages  happen in 10 to 25 percent of pregnancies, according to the American Pregnancy Association.

It’s a devastatingly emotional and painful process to endure alone — without a community of people to offer support.

Which is why we’re so thankful that How I Met Your Mother actress Ashley Williams has opened up about her recent miscarriage and the stigma surrounding it.

Last Friday, Williams wrote about her experience for the The Human Development Project with the hopes of normalizing it. Because it unfortunately is a part of life.

Williams had a miscarriage while grabbing pizza from Whole Foods with her almost two-year-old son.

"I had an instinct that the cramps I had been feeling all morning were miraculous evidence of new life," she wrote. "I tried to smile. The baby is nesting today. And, this kid’s powerful. Then I felt something on my leg."

She immediately knew what was happening.

"A heavy, dark, and slow stream of blood made its way down my left inner thigh," she added. "Without thinking, I swiped it. My fingertips came up wet."

The most surprising part about having miscarriage for Williams was that it happens to one in four women her age, according to her midwife. Which means that 25 percent of her friends would be experiencing the same trauma she just experienced — so why wasn’t she prepared?

"Why don’t we talk about it?" she asked. "Why was I feeling embarrassed, broken, like a walking wound? I live on the Upper West Side, the new stroller capital of Manhattan. How many other women have experienced a miscarriage in that very same Whole Foods?"

She reached out to some of her friends and discovered that many of them had also miscarried at least once. But they never openly discussed it.

Perhaps because most miscarriages occur before 12 week gestation, and at that point, you probably haven’t told many people to begin with. But Williams believes the reason is much deeper than that.

"My (still bloated) gut feeling is that something even more painful silences us  —  the fear that we, as women, are failures," she wrote. "Procreation, the driving purpose in our constructed notion of womanhood, is broken by this sudden trauma. Medical confirmations of the lost pregnancy from OBs, chiropractors, and my acupuncturist use jargon that feeds more self-sabotaging thoughts that I am deficient. Abnormality… Defect… Incapable… Incomplete… Not viable."

And she’s doing something about it, and we’re completely on board.

"I invite you to start, with me, a vocal army of the 25 percenters who can normalize miscarriage in the social sphere. You are not broken. You did nothing wrong. You are strong, you are brave, and there is hope. I was right there next to you at Whole Foods, bleeding out of my shorts. Now I’m well. I’m a survivor. Healed, I will try again."

We love you, Ashley. Thank you for sharing your story.

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