As If

A poem by Cher Horowitz

A full-on Monet:
From far away,
it’s okay
But up close,
it’s a big old mess.

you have to
show a little skin.
This reminds boys of being naked,
and then they think of sex.
Anything you can do
to draw attention
to your mouth
is good.

You try driving in platforms.
I don’t get it.
Did my hair get flat?
Did I stumble into some bad lighting?
What’s wrong with me?
Would you call me selfish?

I actually have
a way normal life
for a teenage girl.
I want to do something for humanity.
I broke in my purple clogs.
I was surfing the crimson wave and
I had to haul ass to the ladies’.
I was just totally

Uh-uh, no way, not even!
I am only 16, and this is California, not Kentucky.
Yeah, this is America.
I’m outty.

*Constructed from quotes by Cher Horowitz in CluelessFeatured image by Roman Campos, via

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