5 ways ‘Arrested Development’ ruined my life

Huge news, guys! Arrested Development series producer, Brian Grazer, just dropped a major truth bomb in an interview. According to Grazer, 17 more episodes of the series is coming to Netflix! We don’t know when, we don’t know how, but we know why: because that show is the best. I think this news calls for a celebration in the form of a RML listicle. 

Like everything amazing in my life, I came to Arrested Development too late. (Yes, I am part of the problem.) Actually, I guess I haven’t come to everything too late – I mean, if you never give up the 90’s and then they come back that counts as being early to something, right? Anyway. As soon as I saw the first moment of Arrested Development I was hooked. (I’M A MONSTER!) Weirdly, my main love interest initially on this show was Portia de Rossi because I was a HUGE Ally McBeal fan. But now, luckily, I’ve become obsessed with the entire cast – and able to see them on almost everything. (Sidebar, someone just said “dustbuster” near me and my immediate response was to say “I no does Buster anymore!” under my breath like a crazy person)

At any rate, from the moment I met the Bluths I wanted to be part of their family. That’s the sickest part for me. I watch them and all I can think is, “this seems like a fun family!” I definitely am legitimately concerned I’m going to name a child of mine Maeby because I think it’s adorable and I can’t remember ever wanting a frozen banana before watching this show. I’m actually overwhelmed by the idea of discussing this show, so in preparation for Sunday (when I probably watch the new season in one sitting) here are five ways Arrested Development ruined my life:.

Steve Holt!

1. This Show Has Ruined Me For Guest Stars On Other Shows

I mean you just can’t compare with the guest stars (and just stars) Arrested Development has and also the way they USE these guest stars.

I love Say Anything and then we bring in Ione Skye as Ann’s MOM?! Yes, please. I’ve loved Christine Taylor for years and we get her AND Ben Stiller? I mean, it goes on and on. I was elected to be “Fern” with my friends when casting Jawbreaker so I’ve always had a fondness for Judy Greer. (How good is she and everyone else from Arrested on Archer, by the way? Love.)

But then we have genius things like Henry Winkler JUMPING OVER A SHARK and Scott Baio coming in to drop some Happy Days jokes on us (with Ron Howard, obviously).

I don’t even know what to say. Here is a brief list of other amazing guest stars and oh my god is it Sunday yet?

  • Liza Minnelli
  • Ed Begley Jr.
  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus
  • Charlize Theron
  • Amy Poehler
  • Jane Lynch
  • James Lipton
  • Zach Braff

2. I Feel Like I’ve Never Seen a Chicken 

One of my favorite jokes on this show is everyone’s chicken dance. It starts with GOB and then we find out everyone has an amazing chicken dance, which eventually causes Michael to say, “has anyone in this family ever even SEEN a chicken?”

Of course, one fateful night in 2006 in NYC (we call it Tattoo and Piercing Night) some friends and I went with a friend to get a tattoo (and I ended up getting my cartilage pierced) and basically we ended up in Washington Square Park each doing a different Bluth family member’s chicken dance.

I pretty much can’t even think about calling someone chicken without mimicking one of these dances.

3. Forever Link Segways With Magic

I don’t know about you, but GOB is one of my favorites…in a cast where everyone is my favorite.

GOB taught us that tricks are what whores do for money (or candy!) but that he does ILLUSIONS, Michael.

I once received a gift from my BFF labeled “DEAD DOVE” (the DO NOT EAT was implied) and whenever I see a segway I think the person on it is probably a magician.

Also, I mean, there’s no way I can ever hear “The Final Countdown” without thinking of GOB, sorry.

4. I Think In Tobias Funke Comments

Tobias, like Bob Loblaw, is a mouthful. Or, says a mouthful…of things. Whatever. A lot of it, I can’t reprint here, but let’s just say I’ll never not be “buy-curious” about many new trends and I know exactly what I’d say if I ever dressed as a “blue” Smurf.

5. Okay Pretty Much I Want to Say Every Line from Arrested In Real Life

I’m a monster!

Marry me!


He’ll be “all right.”

You’re gonna get some hop-ons.

Look at banner, Michael!

Family first.

Spring Break! Whooo!

I’ve made a huge mistake.

Say goodbye to these.


What a fun, sexy time for you!

(Images screengrabbed by me or my own)

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