Anna Kendrick talks about dating in her 20s and it feels like she is reading our minds!

If you’re in your twenties, you already know dating in your twenties is a circle of hell, unless you’re one of those people who SOMEHOW found a fully functioning human being you actually like spending prolonged periods of time with — then you’re not just a twenty-something, you’re also obviously a witch. In addition to the fact that our generation has made the brilliant decision that it’s cool to ~not label things~ (it’s not cool it’s just irritating and nobody benefits from this nebulous non-arrangement but whatever it’s fine it’s FINE), twenty-something celebrities have recently had a lot to say about the dating scene, and the consensus seems to be this: it sucks.

Anna Kendrick shared a relatable (and low key mortifying) story in her new book Scrappy Little Nobody about dating when she was in her early twenties, and we’re cringing AND laughing.

The excerpt from her book was shared by Glamour, and it’s a real doozy. Apparently Anna Kendrick dated a musician named Conor when she was twenty till she was twenty-one, and in retrospect she realizes he clearly had limited interest in her, and that if she hadn’t pursued the non-relationship, it probably would’ve fizzled out. Been there, lady.

"Part of me knew I was only determined to bring him around because he was resisting, but the idea of acknowledging the rejection hurt more than pretending the relationship might be going somewhere."

She continues to try and make him her boyfriend despite his unwillingness to place labels on their relationship, even going so far as to make him breakfast when he’s down and show up at his gigs. While there’s definitely some willful ignorance and plain old naivety going on, it mostly just sounds like Anna Kendrick was really nice to this dude and he was an enormous jerk.

"The next time we had a vague talk about 'what we were doing,' he seemed to debate himself Sméagol/­Gollum style in front of me: 'Well, we get along…and I’m not saying that I want to be with anyone else right now…but I guess I don’t want to miss out on any opportunities.' I should have screamed, 'I’m the opportunity, you asshat!' But I clenched my teeth and convinced myself once again that I didn’t need a label. Before I left, I at least managed to ask the question."

Eventually, Connor breaks up with her and she goes to work on a film out of state, heartbroken. She even finds out that Connor got together with the girl he said he had no interest in. The actual worst.

Our hearts go out to Anna, but also to ourselves, and everybody else in their twenties. The dating scene, man. It’s paaaainful.