28 thoughts I had while watching the ‘American Ultra’ trailer

Have you ever wanted to see Jesse Eisenberg save the day? If you said YES, then you’ve got to check out the brand new trailer for American Ultra, where he plays a top-notch spy why has no idea he’s actually a spy. Think, like the Bourne Identity, but now mix it together with Kevin Smith’s Clerks. That’s what we’re going to get when Eisenberg’s dollar store clerk suddenly starts kicking butt.

Eisenberg’s not alone on this crazy ride, and has got Kristen Stewart right by his side. She plays his girlfriend (Adventureland reunion alert) and doesn’t really get this whole “spy” thing either. Does this sound like a clear cut situation for comedy? Sure does. Seriously, this movie looks bonkers, in a good way. Check out the trailer and then join me in a close reading of it, because we should talk about what we just saw.

1. The trailer quickly sets up that the government has been creating these super-secret sleeper agents, and they can be anyone. They’re probably who we least expect.

2. We would not expect Eisenberg’s Mike at all.

3. Even after he’s “activated” as a spy, it’s still like, “nah, this can’t be that guy.”

4. Also approve that he’s eating the meal of all champion spies, Cup Noodles.

5. Some spy hooligans start messing with Mike’s car, so he fights them off with a spoon. Spoon action. Which is Mike’s weapon of choice.

6. Then we get the first shot of Stewart as Mike’s GF, Phoebe. He says, “I just killed two people!” and she goes, “Ha, that’s awesome.” But Phoebe, this is for real.

7. When Mike’s “activated” as a spy, his pupil dilates, just like another great spy of our time, Chuck Bartowski. He was also not really supposed to be a spy, but he managed to save the world in the end.

8. Miss Chuck a lot. Mike might be able to take his place.

9. Mike wonders why are people trying to stab him. That seems like something we’re going to figure out over the course of the movie!

10. A+ work for when Mike mentions that now that he’s killed two guys with a spoon, he’s got “a lot of anxiety about this…”

11. … and then his car blows up. Like that’s not going to make him even more paranoid.

12. Cue the guy behind all of this, Eric Foreman! OK, I mean, Topher Grace!


14. It quickly becomes clear that Mike is a lot more dangerous than we originally thought.

15. Mike is also completely unaware just how dangerous he is, which yes, makes this whole thing a lot funnier.

16. Also, probably good time to mention that Mike is a stoner, so this is comedy x3.

17. Shirtless and tattooed John Leguizamo alert. His name is Rose, and he politely asks Mike to not break down a door.

18. Since we’re halfway through the trailer now, it’s time for some quick action shots of fighting and explosions, naturally. They come quick and fast, and this is clearly a comedy/action. Is there a word for that yet? Act-edy? Com-tion? Why does it work so well for dramedy, but not here?

19. Also, Mike can do a trick with a bullet and a frying pan. This does not appear to be your regular run-of-the-mill spy action/comedy movie. We need to think up a word for this. It’s the same thing that we can group Tropic Thunder under.

20. The trailer’s beat kicks in.

21. You know things are getting serious when it’s time for a Nicki Minaj song.

22. Why haven’t we seen Walton Goggins? He’s in this movie. He was great on Justified. Bet he’s going to be great here, too. His character’s name is “Laughter.” Not a joke.

23. There’s also a pretty crazy fight in an area completely lit by black light.

24. Know who also gets in on this action? Stewart. She throws a few amazing super-quick punches. She’s not going to let Mike have all the fun with this strange, rogue spy situation.

25. So this is like a Jason Bourne movie, mixed with Clerks, but then mixed with a little bit of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, too.

26. Also, Pineapple Express.

27. Eric Foreman is getting more and more upset that the asset cannot be contained. Please let there be an epic Eisenberg/Grace showdown.

28. And what kind of spy movie would it be if someone doesn’t get tased by the end of it? Both Eisenberg and Stewart fall prey to that. Something tells me they’ll be OK, though.

Ready to watch all of this unfold for real? American Ultra opens in theaters on August 21st.

Images via YouTube.

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