“American Horror Story” plans to keep the Season 7 theme top-secret, and we’ve already got a headache

Think back to August 2016, when everything was fine and nothing hurt. Off on the horizon, American Horror Story was slowly creeping towards us, and we were all sorts of excited! One day, out of the blue, AHS started teasing different themes for Season 6, and we were like “This is great! OMG! Season 6 is going to be ah-mazing!” And then we learned that 95% of these teasers were FAKE and we fell into very deep AHS-theory-holes as we tried to figure out the theme for the next season.

(Side note: For a brief period of time, I had actually convinced the entire internet that AHS Season 6 would be subtitled, “The Mist,” and this is still my greatest accomplishment to date!)

It was a tough, trying time, and then Ronaoke happened, and well……….

If reminiscing about this is giving you a small headache, oh boy, do we have some more headache-inducing news for you! Right now, it sure sounds like the theme of American Horror Story Season 7 is going to be dropped on us the same way.

Start bracing yourselves for lots of teases, misdirects, confusion, crying, aggravation, and then we’ll be rewarded with more Evan Peters, so idk, I guess it’s fine.

Talking at the Television Critics Association winter press tour, American Horror Story Czar, Ryan Murphy, hinted that YES, we’d learn the theme ahead of time:

“I don’t know [if we’ll keep it quiet]. Last year was successful. I don’t know if we’ll do it again. I think maybe we’ll release some of it earlier than we did. But I just started writing it, I haven’t even cast it yet — except for Sarah and Evan."

While that’s good news for us, FX president, John Landgraf, was like lol not so fast:

“[Season 7] will actually will be shrouded in super secrecy. Ryan has yet another really innovative idea for how to do something fresh and different with the franchise that audiences haven’t seen before, and there’s a marketing promotional hook around that.

Nooooooooooooooo. While the whole ~secrecy~ thing was cool for Season 6 and all, omg, it was also agonizing as all hell. Like, jus thinking back to that time is giving me cold sweats, if I’m being honest.

But hey, whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. We survived the lead up to AHS season 6, so basically, we can survive anything. Including another ~surprise~ theme dropped on us at the very last second.