Here are all the very odd things I noticed in the first teaser for “American Horror Story: Cult”

Just so you know, I’m currently sitting in my San Diego Comic-Con hotel room, avoiding the lines right now, because I’m too busy having daytime nightmares about the first teaser for American Horror Story: Cult.Even in all my wildest AHS theorizing, I never would have guessed CULT. Still not sure how clowns + bees + Evan Peters with blue hair = Cult, but just like everyone else, I’m excited to find out.

And since one of these days I am going to outsmart Mr. Ryan Murphy (and it will be the best day of my life) I have taken the extra step of literally going through the new Cult teaser, frame by frame. This is a trick I learned last year during the Roanoke pandemonium, when FX dropped like a dozen fake trailers, and I had to weed through them to figure out which one was real. The lead-up to AHS is literally my favorite time of the year.

I’m sorry to report that there aren’t too many hidden things in the first teaser, but there are some odd and interesting things. I believe everything AHS does is very intentional, so here goes:

Some of the trailer appears to be x-ray-ish, and no, I do not know why.

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A lot of the images are blown out, photography wise, which makes everything look too bright and too burnt.

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Like, look at this image, and look at the mildly terrifying juxtaposition between these two clowns in the forefront, and the clowns in the back, and I will 100% be seeing this image tonight in my nightmares.

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In case you didn’t notice it already, the noses on the clowns look a whole lot like honeycomb — as in bees, a clue Mr. Murphy has already hinted at.

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The trailer does a lot of weird distortion stuff. I don’t get it.

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Here’s more of that terrifying blown out look, which makes these clowns look almost neon.

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The clown on the far right looks like he’s a fun house mirror, see how his face is mirrored? IS THAT A CLUE or have I already spent too much time watching this trailer?

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The blue-haired clown lady has a hexagon on her back. She’s also lying on top of what appears to be some sort of symbol. Might be the symbol of the cult in Cult?

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And that’s…all I’ve got so far. So stay tuned as I continue to spend every waking moment of my life trying to decode AHS Season 7.