Amber Tamblyn believed Charlyne Yi when she accused Tamblyn’s husband of racism, and here’s why that matters

This past Sunday, comedian Charlyne Yi revealed that David Cross made racist comments to her the first night they met. As might be expected, many fans of Amber Tamblyn, David Cross’s wife, were curious about her thoughts on the matter.

In a series of direct tweets,  Tamblyn said she believed Yi — and a response like this is incredibly important.

In case you missed it, Yi initially wrote,

"I think about the first time I met David Cross ten years ago & he made fun of my pants (that were tattered because I was poor). Dumbfounded I stared at him speechless and he said to me "what's a matter? You don't speak English?? Ching-chong-ching-chong."

Yi went on to say that after Cross saw she was insulted, he asked her if she was going to fight him with “karate.” false

Cross addressed the accusation in a series of tweets, stating that he’d never say such things.

Adressing the Charlyne Yi tweet below. pic.twitter.com/WMHxH6lZco

— david cross✍ (@davidcrosss) October 18, 2017

While he claimed that perhaps both of them were misremembering events, many people believed that his response was not an apology at all and included a lot of red flags.

https://twitter.com/udfredirect/status/920536450403389440

Initially — and disappointingly — Tamblyn asked to be removed from the dialogue.

He said he was sorry, publicly, several times. Please don’t @ me in conversations dragging my husband. Thanks.

— Listening in the Dark ✨Amber Tamblyn (@ambertamblyn) October 19, 2017

This caused many of Tamblyn’s followers to question whether she fully respected the voices and experiences of women of color. Her tweet felt a lot like a blanket dismissal.

Tamblyn then clarified her comments, writing:

I spoke to @charlyne_yi and her feelings/safety are all that matter to me. We’re good. I owe you nothing, Twitter. You’re lucky to have me.

— Listening in the Dark ✨Amber Tamblyn (@ambertamblyn) October 20, 2017

I’ll say it again. I spoke to Charlyne. I believe her. I’m about HER feelings/emotional health right now, not Twitter’s. That okay with you? https://t.co/aQU5dGqKuY

— Listening in the Dark ✨Amber Tamblyn (@ambertamblyn) October 20, 2017

It took so much courage for Yi to come forward and speak her truth about a white man who also has the power of fame behind him, and we’re glad Tamblyn (eventually) stepped up to the plate and acknowledged Yi’s experience — though we sincerely wish it had happened sooner.

These events speak to a much larger conversation about the dynamic between privilege and allyship in our culture. We live in a time when many who come forward with stories of harassment, racism, and discrimination are doubted, dismissed, or shamed into silence by those with the privilege if ignoring their pain. We also live in a society where victim-blaming is all too real, and many people — especially women of color — are ignored and spoken over by those with more systemic power. This is why it’s critical for those with privilege to listen and believe when others come forward with stories of abuse and discrimination.

We thank Yi for speaking her truth and hope this serves as a reminder that we can always do better when it comes to listening to the experiences of others — especially when those others have traditionally been ignored for generations.