All the reasons why your 20s are one big paradox

If I have learned anything about being in your twenties, it’s that it’s a time period full of contradictions. It’s supposed to be some of the best years of your life, when your identity forms solidly into the person you have always meant to become and your overall mindset is clearer than ever. I’m not sure about you, but it hasn’t worked out quite that way for me. I feel as if I am watching a reality show about a confused and lost girl trying to grasp how “adulting” works, except, it turns out, I’m the star  of that show.

I am happy, then sad. I get excited then frustrated. I am confident, yet insecure. I am ambitious, but lazy. I am full of positivity, but then full of negativity. My life is wonderful, yet a disaster. The only thing I have managed to successfully figure out is that your twenties are full of paradox. Here’s why.

You have to figure out who you are, but you can’t even figure out what you want to eat for dinner every night.

If you put raspberries in ice cream, that’s totally a fruit serving. Right?

You live a fun life, but realize the most eventful life event you have had recently is Free Pancake Day at iHop.

Best day of the year, though.

You could have the social life like an episode of The Hills, but you and your friends are too busy working to ever spend sufficient time together.

Turns out a full-time job really puts a damper on the daytime hang sesh.

You admire the hottest trends, but have a Target budget.


You are mostly independent, but still look forward to free laundry and a home cooked meal at your parents’ house.

Sometimes, cooking dinner is an insurmountable obstacle

You live a healthy, active lifestyle, but can never resist the urge to make that late night Taco Bell run.

Who could pass up Doritos tacos?

You experience the joy of falling in love for the first time, but really only have a committed relationship to Netflix and frozen yogurt.

It’s complicated

If you’re in a relationship, you miss being single. But if you’re single, you miss being in a relationship.

Can you ever win?

Your life is a time to be “young, wild, and free,” but it’s also the time to be a responsible adult.

I’m hearing some mixed messages here.

It seems as if every classmate, neighbor and acquaintance is engaged, married or pregnant and you are still trying to figure out how to simply pass your semester with a decent GPA.

We all have our own struggles, OK?

You want to be social and interact with others, but then want to stay in and binge watch every TV show by yourself (Cookie Butter in hand).

Can’t the party come to me instead?

You realize you are an adult, but can’t help but still jam to High School Musical tracks on your iPod.

Some things never get old.

You know who you are, but your identity is still under construction.

It’s a work in progress.

My twenties are a roller coaster. While at times it can be overwhelming, emotional, confusing, and exhausting, I wouldn’t change it any other way. Maybe our twenties aren’t about having everything figured out already.Maybe they’re about noticing that life is a total contradiction and embracing it anyway.

Lexy Perez is currently a student at California State University San Marcos, studying Psychology and Writing. She believes that everyday should be a dance party, filled with fun and laughter. When she’s not writing or reading, she has an unhealthy obsession with Whole Foods, Justin Timberlake and her two dogs. 

[Image courtesy HBO]