What It Means to Dream About Having an Affair With a Coworker
Getting it on with Gary in accounting might be jarring (or incredible!) but there's more to this common dream scenario.
Our romantic relationships are a huge part of our daily lives, so it’s not surprising that it would be a frequent topic in our dreams. We also spend nearly half of our day at work, and while we try our best to switch our focus at the end of the day, there will inevitably be some crazy crossovers in our mind when we go to sleep — like when your dream is about having an affair with a coworker.
Seeing yourself getting it on with Gary in accounting might be startling for sure, but overall, work-related dreams can be reflective of your professional goals, fears, and desires, influenced by your daily experiences and emotions.
It’s possible to dream about doing it with a coworker if you’re single and have never given any thought to that person otherwise; it’s also possible that a coworker might feature in your sex dream even if you’re in a happy relationship.
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To learn more about why you might be having naughty dreams with your teammates, we spoke with Nicole Eichelberger, a BSM-certified sleep expert specializing in insomnia, apnea, and circadian rhythm disorders, and a consultant at Mattressive.
Why would I dream about having an affair with my coworker?
“Dreams about affairs may indicate a desire for passion or excitement in one’s life,” Eichelberger states. “They can also evoke a feeling of being unfulfilled or dissatisfied in a current relationship, or a fear of being betrayed or abandoned.”
So if you are feeling insecure about your job or struggling with a difficult coworker, even if things are going well in your relationship, these emotions may surface in your dreams (yes, even in sexual form).
The coworker could also be a symbol for some quality or characteristic that you associate with that particular person. For example, if the coworker is particularly confident or charming, the dream may be reflecting your desire for those qualities in your life (and not necessarily the person themself).
“The coworker may represent an aspect of yourself that you are exploring or trying to integrate into your personality,” Eichelberger adds. “In this case, the affair could represent a desire to connect with this aspect of yourself in a more intimate way.”
Are there connections between sex and work in dreams?
Both sex and work are hopefully sources of pleasure and satisfaction in our waking lives. It’s possible that dreams that combine work and sex may reflect a desire for more fulfillment or enjoyment in both areas.
A lot of times, these kinds of dreams reflect a desire for power or control. “In some cases, sex may be used as a symbol for dominance or influence,” Eichelberger explains, “While work-related themes may reflect the desire to succeed or advance in one’s career.”
What should I do if I feel weird after having a sex dream about a coworker?
Don’t freak out just yet — sex and work, when combined in a single dream, are often unrelated to how you go about your life outside of the bedroom (or boardroom, if that’s where the sex act took place).
However, feeling shocked or uncomfortable after you wake up is natural, and may also have meaning of its own, especially if the idea of cheating on your partner is present.
“If you are having an affair with a coworker in your dream, it may be a reflection of a real-life situation that is causing you feelings of guilt or conflict,” Eichelberger elaborates.
Sex and work in dreams can be complex and multifaceted, and may reflect a range of emotions, desires, and raise issues you hadn’t thought of before. As with any dream, it’s important to consider the context, your personal circumstances, and any other issues that may not have taken place in the dream, but may also be on your mind and in your subconscious.
“Dreams do not necessarily reflect reality, and having a dream about having an affair does not necessarily mean that one is or wants to be unfaithful to their partner in real life,” adds Eichelberger. “If the dream is causing distress or confusion, it may be helpful to explore any underlying emotions or issues with a trusted friend, therapist, or counselor.”
Even if your dream reflects a desire for a closer relationship with the coworker you had an affair with in real life, don’t necessarily take your dream as a sign to ask them out. Affairs with coworkers can be risky and have potentially negative consequences, both personally and professionally, so always make sure you evaluate your heart’s actual desires, rather than what your horny dream might be showing you instead.