The actor who played Hodor received a very special cake, and it’s going to make you eat your feelings

Spoiler alert! Spoiler alert! If you aren’t caught up with Game of Thrones, beware! Because I’m going to write about the devastating things that happened in the last episode and there is no stopping me. Okay? Okay.

So, remember that time Hodor died a very gruesome, heart wrenching death and left us emotionally scarred for the rest of our lives?! It happened in the last episode of Game of Thrones, “The Door” and we legitimately do not understand how we will recover.

The rest of the internet (and world IRL) feels exactly the same way, so if you’ve been sobbing at your desk since Sunday night just know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. People tweeted their sorrows. Hodor doorstops have started materializing all over the place. And now, the actor himself, Kristian Nairn, has posted a very bittersweet Instagram that will make you sob forever.

It’s a cake. Shaped like the door Hodor held in “The Door.” It is beautiful and intricate and kind of looks like it was painted with Kylie Jenner’s newest Lip Kit color (but maybe that’s just me, IDK). Nairn wrote, “Returned to my room to find this !!! Amazing, thank you so much Rachel and @whotels <33.” I don’t know about you, but those less-than-threes just SHATTERED ME.

When asked about his character’s death, Nairn actually had some ~interesting~ words for us. He told People, “The interesting thing is it’s kinda left open. You don’t actually see him [die.]” He added, “So who knows? He may come back as a White Walker, maybe he got away. But it’s a really good way to do it. I couldn’t have asked for a better goodbye to a character I love.”

*Sheds tear*