Abby Wambach just got asked this question in an interview, and we’re not okay with it

Soccer star Abby Wambach is a total badass. Among other things, she was the 2012 FIFA World Player of the Year, won two Olympic gold medals, and with 184 career goals to her name has scored more than any player, of any gender, in the history of international soccer.



But sadly, even total badasses still have to deal with totally ridiculous things. And this week, Wambach had to deal with a super weird and homophobic question from Fresh Air host Terry Gross.

During an interview that spanned a wide range of topics, conversation turned to Wambach’s experience of coming out as a lesbian to her devoutly Catholic family.

"So I want to ask you more about like comprehending your sexuality, your sexual orientation," Gross began.

TBH, that’s already the kind of statement that never goes anywhere good. So it’s not shocking that it went south pretty quickly.

She continued,  "Was it helpful on Long Island to have had a boyfriend, to have had sex with a boy, so that you could know with more certainty, 'No, I love women?'"


Excuse me, Terry?  First of all, why would you ask anyone something like this??? Second, and more importantly, would you ask straight people a question like this? Do you expect straight women to sleep with other women to figure out that they’re straight? No? Then why would you expect queer women to sleep with men to “know with more certainty” that they’re queer?

Gross’s question basically implies that heterosexuality is the default, and that a person is somehow incapable of knowing that they’re gay (or ace, bi, or any non-straight sexuality) without “proving it” to themselves by having sex with a gender they’re already not attracted to. And that ain’t cool.

But Wambach handled the question with extraordinary grace. She talked about discovering her sexuality not by dating men, but by how she felt when she dated her first girlfriend.

 Wambach said, "I met this woman, and I was like, 'Oh, I get it now. This is how you're supposed to feel...' When you are in love, it’s a knowing. It’s a knowing like you know your own age, and you know your own family’s, like, last name. That’s what love feels like."

Hopefully Terry and her listeners learned from this awkward question and its (undeservedly) patient rebuttal. Abby Wambach, you are #lifegoals! (Pun intended.)

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