7 ways to keep things sexy in your long-distance relationship

We all know this to be true: Long-distance relationships suck. They’re hard and you can spend a lot of time either wondering why the heck you’re doing it in the first place or explaining to other people how you do it at all. Although LDRs are the worst most of the time, sometimes they can be pretty great, at least if — and it’s a big if — you know how to keep things sexy in a long-distance relationship.

The good thing about long-distance relationships is that you OBVIOUSLY have a bond.

Otherwise, why would you wait around for someone in the first place? So you need to remember to rely on those great communication skills and the connection that brought you together in the first place and helped you decide that air miles weren’t no thing when it came to True Love.

For good measure, you should know that keeping things spicy in your LDR isn’t just about sex. Talk about a plot twist, right?

Here are some ways to keep things hot and fun in your long distance relationship, no matter how long you’re apart from your boo.

1Schedule times to talk.

Yes, it’s inevitable that you’ll text and communicate through likes and retweets on social media, but schedule actual times to have a conversation. Doing it every day might be too much for most couples — try it every other day or even once a week. Definitely chat it up and send funny pictures and things in between, but make time to have a “date.” Actually Skyping while having dinner or watching Game of Thrones together on Sundays sounds lame, but it’s worth a shot. You’ll find your groove eventually.

2Keep things easy AF.

Don’t whisper sweet nothings to each other and cry about how much you miss each other when you’re talking on the phone. Obviously you both miss each other. Talk about your day, make fun of your boss, and whatever you do, try not to fight! If you do fight (because hey, it happens), make sure you do it on the phone and not via text. Things get way out of control that way. When you visit each other, remember that not everything is going to be like a rom-com all the time. It’s not like that in any relationship, either.

3Sext. Like a lot.

Keepings things light definitely means sexting. Make sure you’re sexting responsibly, but talking dirty or letting the other person know you’re thinking about them is always appreciated.

4Use your cameras!

You should be sending pictures with your sexts so everyone has a little material to work with in a pinch. Even better? Turn those Skype and phone appointments into virtual sexy time. You might feel weird doing it at first, but once you try it out, you’ll be looking forward to your phone or computer sex sessions.

5Plan visits.

Always have something to look forward to! You should definitely be hopping on planes or taking drives to see them if possible. Surprise visits are totally acceptable — and super fun — but make sure you really know their schedule so that you’re not bombarding them. Actually, if you have a surprise visit in mind for the weekend, just tell them around Tuesday or Wednesday. That still counts as a surprise, but they’ll have time to get their business in order and prepare for you. Just because you’re in love doesn’t mean people don’t deserve boundaries.

6Get in each other’s lives.

When you visit, it will be tempting to roll around in bed all day and order take out and get in there. But try to make time to go out on the town and meet their new friends and see their new city. Same goes for when they come to town. That way, you have something to talk about when you do talk on the phone and don’t fall into the whole “I miss you, when can we visit, what are you wearing” routine. Knowing what each other is up to when you’re apart is healthy, even if you get a little jealous.

7Oh, yeah — check your jealousy.

Both or each of you might get a little jealous, especially if one person is sort of handling the separation better than the other. Don’t assume that every person is trying to get all up on your parter or let your freak flag fly too much. If there’s really a problem, it will surface. Getting jealous and hounding someone just creates problems when you really should be masturbating together on the phone. Also, if you’re super jealous and really hating this LDR thing, you can call it quits. It’ll be sad, but long distance just really doesn’t work for some people. Trust us: You’ll know if your one of those people pretty fast.

Good luck, lovers.