7 reasons food is better than sex and will always be better than sex

According to a study last year, most people really feel that food is better than sex. To be honest, we kinda totally agree. The study surveyed almost 12,000 people between 18 and 55 years old from all over the world, and 60 percent of respondents said that eating is as pleasurable as sex. In fact, half of women would actually choose food over sex if given the option. Thirty-one percent of women were neutral about it, which means that just under one in four women go for sex instead of a nice meal.

So it’s basically confirmed: Most people think food is better than sex.

Obviously, we’d love to live in a world where we’d never have to choose. But there’s something about having a scandalously cheesy pizza in bed than some scandalously mediocre oral sex.

A lot of people compare food and sex, and you only need to scroll through the #foodporn hashtag on Instagram to see that they have a point. Eating delicious food fills you up, triggers all your happy hormones, and you don’t have to wait for it to call you back. It’s a win-win all around.

Just in case you’re not totally convinced, here are a few reasons why food is better than sex.

1You can eat whenever you want.

No one is going to look at you funny for eating whenever and wherever you please. Whereas if you’re having sex in the driver’s seat of your car at a red light, you’re probably committing a misdemeanor. If you want food, you can order it in the middle of the night and pay as much as you want for it. Some people judge you if you do the same thing with sex.

2You don’t have to move at all.

Sure, you have to lift the nacho to your face, but food is really a low-stress activity. Having to move during sex is a given, but when you’re super lazy, sometimes eating is just much better.

3You can just send bad food back.

You know right away when the sex is bad. But you can’t push bad sex away from you and call in a sub. Unless you can, in which case, please elaborate! When food sucks, you can send it back to the kitchen, get a refund, or blame your partner for adding too much garlic yet again.

4Eating alone is just as good as with company.

OK, masturbation is also just as good if not better than sex. But if you’re masturbating all the time, it can get sort of old, and you might start to want someone to come help you out. But eating alone is always delicious and often preferable to dining with others. You never miss a thing.

5Food doesn’t cheat on you.

Sex often involves having feelings, and feelings can get hurt. Food will never lie to you, or hang out with your coworker behind your back. Sex (or really, people) can hurt you. Bad. What to do after you get burned by sex? EAT FOOD.

6You don’t have to make conversation with food.

Nothing is worse than an awkward first date (which is sometimes just the necessary foreplay to getting some sex) and having nothing to say. You don’t have to talk or flatter or show off to get food. You just eat it. No work involved.

7There’s no regret.

Yeah, yeah, you might moan on the car ride back from the restaurant about how you shouldn’t have had that second portion of wings, but do you really mean it? No, you loved every second of it. Sex? Sex can be regrettable sometimes, even when you meant well. If you could take back sleeping with that ultra jerk, you would, right? You would never take back hot wings.

In a perfect world, you’re loving the food and the sex you’re having. But if you had to choose, you’d pick the food, right? That’s what we thought.