6 ways to check yourself if you’re dating someone you really like, but you always move too fast
The beginning stages of a relationship are arguably the best part. Between the rush of getting to know someone new and the little self-esteem boost you get from having someone ~obsess~ over you, it can be hard to keep your head on straight. Which is exactly why some of us tend to take things a little bit faster than they should probably go. It’s too fun not to! But at a certain point, you have to know how to stop rushing into relationships or at least be able to run a few simple gut checks to gauge whether or not you are, in fact, doing it again.
Hey, knowing you have a problem is half the battle.
As much as we know we aren’t generally “supposed” to rush, there are some upsides to relationships that seem to go from “Can I get your number?” to “My love for you burns like a thousand suns” in a matter of days. There are! We totally get it. Falling hard and fast is romantic, your serotonin levels are through the roof, and you never know — this could be The One. But rushed relationships can blow up — big time.
So just to be safe, take a minute and make sure you’re covering all your bases before moving too fast with this new person.
1Think about why you want a relationship.
Absolutely no one wants to be alone, which is why some of us serially fall in love over and over again without ever taking much of a break. If it’s working for you, that’s great. But if your relationships keep crashing and burning and you keep repeating the super emotionally charged cycle, it’s worth taking a minute and figuring out if this current one is the real deal or another rushed relationship that’s probably doomed to end in a similarly spectacular fashion.
2What do you love about this person?
Name three things you truly, really admire and respect about this person. Sometimes when we rush into relationships, we brush over the details and just like that this person likes us back. In a healthy, sustainable relationship, you tend to deal with the details a little more.
3How is this relationship different than others that came before?
If you’re worried that you’re rushing into something again or doubting your gut, see if you can notice if you feel any different than the last time…or the time before that. We all have types and patterns when it comes to love — it’s just the ones that aren’t good for us we want to stop repeating.
4Talk it out with your new partner.
A person who cares about you will listen to your concerns that things might be moving too fast. Someone who’s really into building something real with you will totally care that you have a history of rushing into things and want to make sure that this time will be different. If your new lovaaah is in on your worries and willing to work with you to take things a little slower, you’re totally on the right track.
5Are you L-bombing too soon?
Relationships that are moving too fast aren’t necessarily bad. It’s just that really good LTRs are built step-by-step. Maybe all you have to do is stop saying “I love you” too soon, which doesn’t stop you from saying how you feel, it just forces you to be more specific about your feelings. Although we wish it weren’t so, life is not like a Disney movie and people do not really fall hardcore in love at first sight.
6Everything is ~extra~ all the time.
Aside from making broad declarations of love, are you two showering each other in romance? That’s adorable, we hope you’re taking pictures, but not every date should be Bachelor-finale levels of romantic. Take a night off from the the horse-drawn carriage rides and candlelight and see what happens. You’ll know if it’s the real thing this time or if you need to slow things down in a major way once you come down from cloud nine and are back in the real world.