6 Reasons Why You Should Never be Mean to Your Server

Something that I will never understand is a person’s capability to be terrible to others, especially if this person is being helped out. As a former server, I’ve experienced it, and as a customer I’ve witnessed it. People can be rude and obnoxious just because they feel entitled to do so, and it’s never okay.

This video of a woman being racist and horrible at a Dunkin Donuts in Florida this past Monday takes the cake and wins Most Vile Customer of the Month Award:


A day before, Taylor Chapman (AKA Satan) went to Dunkin Donuts, ordered some food and didn’t receive a receipt. Thinking to herself, How dare this establishment forget about giving me my receipt! Taylor freaked out and demanded a free meal, since that is Dunkin Donut’s alleged policy. When one of the employees asked her to come back again the next day for her free meal, Chapman took this personally. The next day, she made sure every single employee, customer waiting in line and Facebook friend understood her tenacity and rage. Chapman recorded every single foul thing that came out of her mouth on her iPhone, including calling one of the cashiers a “little f**king sand n—–“ (sorry, I seriously can’t even type out the word) threatening to  “nuke” the place “from Mars” and insisting she get an additional free strawberry Coolatta because she has her business degree (obviously!). Since Chapman is out of her mind, she posted it on Facebook; the video went viral, backfiring on her plan to expose Dunkin Donuts for who they really are (really freaking patient, awesome people!). Good for her. I hope she got the justice she wanted.

Here are 6 reasons why it’s never cool to freak out and berate your server, even if they mess up. Because news flash: everyone makes mistakes. And in the end, you just end up looking like the asshole.

6. It’s just food.

My first job ever was at a Panera Bread. During orientation, the managers trained us how to work the register, familiarized us with the menu, and coached us on how to interact with customers. “At the end of the day, it’s just bread,” one of the managers said to me, acknowledging the fact that we all mess up and it’s easily fixable. I’ve totally served a person the wrong thing accidentally; it happens. Especially when French baguettes look so much like sourdough at six in the morning. If you receive a meal that isn’t exactly how you wanted it, just send it back. Nicely. If your food is not up to par, let your server know and they will take care of it in most situations. If it’s a royal screw-up, the restaurant will usually make it up to you monetarily. It’s food. Not war.

5. You are not the center of your server’s world.

If your server is not replacing your Diet Coke the instant you slurp down the remaining carbonated caramel coloring, don’t freak out. They probably have at least two more tables besides yours, and if she/he doesn’t, then they are probably prepping for a lunch/dinner rush or making sure your food comes out the way you ordered it. Just because service isn’t super fast, doesn’t mean your server is texting in the bathroom or not doing his/her job. A lot happens behind the scenes in the restaurant industry. Also, you can always let your server know you’re in a rush; with this knowledge, they are more likely to put your order in as soon as possible or even communicate with the chefs, who can push your order to the front.

4. So, they have a bad day.

Did your server not smile and ask you how your day is going when they took your order? It’s probably because they’ve been hustling for six hours straight without any food. Or maybe they’re going through a break-up and the last thing they feel like doing is making small talk with customers. You never know what is going on in someone else’s life; don’t assume that your server is just a “bitch”.

3. It’s not always the server’s fault.

Sometimes it is. Sometimes servers will mistype an order or forget to put it in right away, or maybe even forget to put it in entirely! I’ve been there. It’s frustrating, I know. But I would say at least half of the time it’s the kitchen’s problem, too. Tickets get backed up, the line cooks are under major pressure, and s**t goes awry. A server will do anything in their power to make sure your experience is not totally jeopardized, even if it means going behind the line and directly speaking with the chefs (which is scary sometimes, trust me).

2. The job already kind of sucks enough as is.

I worked as a server and barista throughout college to pay for books and food, and chances are, your server is doing the same thing. Most servers are just trying to make some money on the side while they go to school, take care of their families or look for a new job. At least 65% of the servers I knew, know and worked with either were going to college or already had their Bachelor’s. It’s not every girl’s dream to be a waitress, but sometimes you do what you gotta do. And it’s not all sunshine and free food. It’s hard work: you leave your job smelling like frying oil, you deal with customers treating you like an idiot and your feet freaking HURT! Serving is not a person’s first career choice. It mainly happens out of necessity, so the next time you want to lash out on your waiter, just put yourself in their position for a second.

1. Why would you ever want to be mean to a person handling your FOOD?

I’m not saying every server you’ve dismissed has messed with your food, but I’ve seen it happen. It’s NOT acceptable by any means, but logically, you really shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds you. Just sayin’. Because even if they don’t spit in your clam chowder, they will want to. So. Badly. And if a customer’s tantrum concerning the crispiness of bacon is the final straw, there’s no doubt in my mind that there will be a higher chance of loogie concentration in your sandwich. Gross.

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