5 Ways Katy Perry Ruined My Life

I’m currently listening to “Roar” for the 12364549860456956th time (approximately). Now, if you’re familiar with this column, I use the term “ruined my life” in a very not literal way. It’s actually even used in the opposite way I’d say. Anyway, I’m turning 29 next week and that’s mostly relevant because so many celebrities are my age. Or close to my age. Also, Erin was a very popular name in ’83/’84 and you can tell because now Erins are becoming famous! We’re all around the same age and some of us are successful now.

The only point about this is that Katy Perry and I are practically the same age. (Alright, she’s two months younger almost to the day.) But this doesn’t bother me because, duh, I couldn’t be Katy Perry. You know? I’m not saying that in a self-deprecating way at all. That’s just not who I could be. I can only be me, you guys! I’ve had this experience a couple times before when I’ve first resisted something that everyone loves and then get way into it. The It in this case is a human musical act, of course.

This happened with You’ve Got Mail and also famously with Britney Spears. Don’t even talk to me about how I turned down seeing Britney Spears play at Proctor’s Theatre in Schenectady, NY (the site of my pre-school and high school graduations as well as where the video for Mariah Carey’s “Hero” was filmed) in 1998 because I didn’t like her music. Give me a break. (Cut to senior year of high school when I had a Britney Pepsi poster on my wall and I HATE Pepsi!)

But I resisted Katy Perry at first too, and then I realized that was stupid. I think it’s important to have strong female celebrities who aren’t afraid to be girly or silly or, frankly, sexy. This is a conversation that has happened many times and will continue to happen but it is absolutely insane that women can get criticized for being TOO girly or TOO goofy or having fun and made to feel like they aren’t feminist role models. The whole point of feminism should be that I can make my own choices. So, even though I primarily wear graphic tee shirts, I should be taken seriously. And even though I have stickers on my cell phone case I still have opinions that matter.

ANYWAY – we’re talking about Katy Perry this week because I’m obsessed with “Roar” and it’s all I need to listen to this week and forever. We all need a good inspirational anthem from time to time.

1. She Wanted to be Alanis Morissette, Too!

Did YOU watch Katy Perry: Part of Me while in a hotel room over the 4th of July this summer? Oh, well, I did. My biggest takeaway was “Why didn’t I see this in 3D?” but the second biggest was that Katy Perry wanted to be Alanis Morissette.

Now, I think probably every girl born in 1984 (or thereabouts) wanted to be Alanis Morissette. But, like anyone, I’m a sucker for shared experiences so I found this very endearing and amazing.

We all have that disease where we think certain celebrities would be our friends (see: Jennifer Lawrence, Anna Kendrick for me) and this definitely (and the movie in general) made me have this for Katy Perry a bit.

2. Makes Me Want to Dye My Hair Every Day

Pretty much whenever I see someone with brightly dyed hair I want it. I never went through that phase where you dye your hair unnatural colors and I think I’m starting to be sad about that.

I didn’t dye my hair at all, actually, until the end of college when I started dyeing it red. Then I went blonde, then back to brown. And until a couple months ago I hadn’t dyed my hair in years (I recently got a – in my opinion – very subtle and natural looking ombre).

But when I see a brunette with blue eyes (like I am naturally, and my favorite thing), with hair in many different colors, I want to try it!

Obviously a lot of times her hair is brightly colored wigs so maybe that’s just what I have to do. I’ll just show up to my normal events in bright wigs…too bad I only have two wigs and they’re both pink.

But I still want her blue hair:

3. Tried To Resist “California Gurls” and Got Sucked In

I lived in New York City for 10 years between college and real life and only a year ago moved out to Los Angeles. Now, the impulse is to always compare the two cities as if they are mirror image bookends on the United States.

Unfortunately, they’re SO different except for the entertainment industry thing. Once I realized they were completely different cities to live in, I adjusted to L.A. a lot better.

When “Empire State of Mind” came out in 2009, I was obsessed with it, obviously. I’m a fan of any song about New York but this was just perfect. (Fun fact, it was the last song at my wedding, too. I mean, we did a “romantic song” second to last but ended on “Empire State of Mind.”) Nothing throws me into homesickness quite like a Jay-Z song.

So when “California Gurls” came out in 2010 I thought, “aww, poor California has that instead of “Empire State of Mind.”

But let me tell you, once you’re in L.A. and that comes on the radio and you’re looking at palm trees and sunshine…you get into it real quickly.

4. She’s Smurfette!

Okay, I’ve never seen these Smurfs movies. BUT I used to LOVE The Smurfs.

And obviously I wanted to be Smurfette. Mostly out of the fact that there were no other females, but still!

I also think about how much I like that Smurfette dress she wore…too often, probably.

5. Legitimately Want to Dress Like a Piece of Candy or Dessert

To the point I was making earlier, I think it’s important to remember that we as women get judged about a lot of things. Especially regarding how we dress.

I look at clothing as one of the few things I have complete control over, you know? I get to determine exactly how I look day to day and what kind of stuff I like to wear. And actually, you can’t say anything about it.

I love a good bit of theatrics so seeing the costumes Katy Perry performs in is amazing. One of the best things. Candy, though I don’t really eat it – I don’t know, I prefer salty things and if I have sweets I want a cake, thank you – is so pleasing to look at. And so are more of her costumes. Very in my aesthetic wheelhouse, so to speak.

The point is, I appreciate Katy Perry’s willingness to “do her” to the extreme and I think we all could use some encouragement towards that sometimes. I know I did.

(Main image & California Gurls cover via katyperry.com, Part of Me poster via, hair pic via, blue hair bob via ShutterStock, Smurfette dress via, candy dress via)