5 tips for having multiple orgasms because, hey, it’s worth a shot

It takes some women years, even decades, of having sex to figure out how they orgasm. So it can be daunting to realize that you can be having not just one but lots of orgasms during sex. That sounds undoubtedly good, right? This might happen naturally if you and your partner are really getting down in bed. But if not, don’t stress. There are some tips for having multiple orgasms that may make it easier.

Although a female’s body is basically wired for multiple orgasms, they’re not that simple to achieve.

Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD, coauthor of The Multi-Orgasmic Woman told Cosmopolitan that the “average woman is built to come again and again” since we don’t have to take a break and gather ourselves in between orgasms like men do. Because our bodies are amazing (but you already knew that).

But just because we’re capable of doing it doesn’t mean that it’s always desirable. If, for whatever reason, having multiple orgasms just isn’t your thing, you’re not alone. There’s no need to feel like you’re not getting off “enough” or need to go on an orgasm hunt.

But if multiple orgasms sounds good to you, or you had them once by accident and want to recreate the scenario to get off again and again and again, here are some things you can try.

1Don’t forget “foreplay.”

The key to having any orgasm at all, really, is to make sure that your body is in the mood for one. The only way to do that is to make sure you are super turned on. Instead of jumping right to penetration, help your partner slow down with you a little bit. Tease yourself. Even if you don’t have multiples just yet, whatever orgasms you have will definitely be more intense.

2Take a break.

The thing about multiple orgasms is that they’re going to take some time. You likely won’t have two or three in a quickie situation, although if you can, way to go! You can take a break from stimulating yourself and focus on your partner for a little bit and then come back to you. Switch it up and give your body some time to really get into it. We’re not going for multiple Os in a row necessarily, just per session.

3Help yourself if you have to.

Given that some women don’t learn until later in life how to get themselves off, it’s really sort of unrealistic to expect a partner to know just what we like, right off the bat. After a few times in bed together, they should get the hint (and you should tell them what you like), but even when they think they’re pros, they might not be the the one to get you off a few times in a row. So don’t be afraid to touch yourself during sex or introduce a sex toy or whatever else you have in that nightstand drawer to help you out. Do whatever works for you.

4Don’t worry too much.

If you are the competitive type and hell-bent on having as many orgasms as possible all the time, we hate to break it to you, but you’re doing it way wrong. This should be fun. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, and all of those other “slow down” clichés. The more you focus on the orgasm itself, the less likely you’ll achieve one. Don’t psych yourself out!

5Make sure you’re in the right positions.

You might have a position in which you masturbate, but then during couple sex, you end up all over the place. To have multiple orgasms, you’re going to want to stimulate the clitoris pretty much all the time. Try doggy style or a position where you’re on top so that your clitoris is always getting action, one way or another. This way, you give yourself more opportunity to get off more than once.