5 questions to ask if you suddenly can’t have orgasms as easily

It seems like everywhere you turn, someone or something is talking about how women can orgasm better and more frequently, both alone and with a partner. There’s a ton of information out there for women who have never orgasmed, whether that’s from a need to get to know their own bodies or a need to overcome fears. But what about when you suddenly can’t orgasm as easily as you used to?

Not orgasming all of a sudden can be shocking, especially if it’s something that you historically don’t have a problem doing.

If you’re used to getting off all the time, with a partner or without, not being able to orgasm even after pulling out all of your old tricks can cause some emotional distress. Luckily, you can’t break your clitoris, so it’s likely something else going on that’s causing an orgasm block. If you’re not able to orgasm like you normally do, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. But you should probably take some time and be mindful about what’s going on with you outside of the bedroom.

You can usually self-diagnose the reasons you aren’t orgasming all of a sudden, and do some simple things to get your groove back. Here are some questions to ask yourself if you’re worried about not having an orgasm.

1Have you been sleeping OK?

Your sleep schedule can affect your hormones. If they’re not regulated, you might have more trouble getting turned on. Try to get back on a good sleep schedule — you’ll find that you’ll be less stressed and anxious, too, which can also get in the way of having an orgasm. Sleep is really everything.

2Did you change any medications?

Hormonal birth control can be terrible for some women’s sex drive, which most people know by now. What you might not know is how many other medications can mess with sex drive. Antidepressants can affect your libido, for instance, so if you’ve recently changed any medication in your regime, that could be the culprit. Funny enough, it doesn’t have to be meds you take long-term. Antihistamines can also affect your sex drive, so if you’ve taken an allergy med and then find your usual romp doesn’t end in an orgasm, it’s not your fault!

3Are you getting along with your partner?

To have an orgasm, a lot of women have to be in the right headspace. (The same is true for men, by the way.) If you and your partner are on the outs or you’ve been thinking about having sex with someone else, you might not be able to get off with them until you sort that stuff out. Yes, sometimes it’s possible to have amazing “angry sex,” but that’s a rare kind of attraction. If you’re not getting along with a long-term partner, feel pressured to orgasm, or are sleeping with people you don’t really like, that could be an orgasm killer.

4What else is going on?

You might think you have all of your stress and responsibilities under control. You might even meditate and know how to relax and think you’re in the mood. But the things going on in our lives can sneak up on us in strange ways. If something major is going on, and you’re not dealing with it, your sex drive and ability to orgasm will be sure to let you know.

5Are you partying too much?

As if there was a way to party too much. But seriously, if you’re on a round of one-night stands after weekend nights at the bar, it’s likely that you’re getting in your own way when it comes to an orgasm. If you’re able to orgasm alone and with that ex you’re trying to desperately get over, it could be all the dry martinis you’re drinking before taking someone home with you.

Don’t worry, with some minor tweaks and time, you’ll be back to your regular scheduled orgasms.

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