4 expert-approved ways to get out of a bad date, because we’ve all been there

We’ve all been there: you’re on a date with a guy you met through a mutual friend. He’s easy on the eyes, has a great job and definitely checks off things on your list. But he was late to your date, only talks about himself and managed to do all the things wrong to make a good first impression. You want so desperately to get up from the table and never look back but you’re not sure what to do? We asked ESSENCE columnists, The Matchmaking DUO, on 4 ways to end things early when the chemistry just isn’t there.

1Come clean

‘We feel you can always find something good to say about anyone; whether he has an amazing smile, great shoes, or he was responsive up to the date and punctual the day of,” says the Matchmaking DUO. “So lead with that and then let him know, ‘but I’ve realized we are not a good fit for each other.’ If you want to elaborate briefly on why you feel that way, great but the goal is to keep it short and sweet and move on to the place where you can wish him well.”

Related article: The 8 most heartbreaking TV breakups of all time

2Check, please

“The next time the waiter or waitress comes over you can ask for the check. Let him know you have to go but we would say leave money for at least what you ordered. That way if you already know you’ll never see him again in a million years, there are no regrets on either side and you can move on free and clear.”

Related article: 14 signs you’re in a healthy relationship 

3Start talking futuristically and become clingy

“You won’t have to end the date early he will! There is noting worse than overindulging too early. Men will quickly ask for the check!”

Related article: 7 things: The hardest things about being in a new relationship

4Feel “sick”

“Technically you’re not lying you are sick, just sick of him and this date! The moment the date starts going left, just share that you are going to have to leave as you don’t feel well.  Keep in mind, this only allows you to terminate the date, it’s up to you to have the conversation with him later as to why “you’re no into him.”

This article originally appeared in Essence.