19 Heart-Melting, Hilarious Quotes from Famous Dads

Father’s Day is when we thank our dads for all the love, patience, understanding and animal-shaped pancakes they’ve provided for us through the years. It’s also a good time to pay homage to those famous dads—both real and fictional—who’ve inspired us from afar. With that in mind, here are 19 awesome dad-isms from our favorite pops in pop culture.

19. Stephen Colbert

“A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure who can never be pleased. Otherwise, how will children ever understand the concept of God?”

Ok, seriously …

“You just can’t explain what it’s like to be a parent until you are a parent. It’s like, poetry might get at it, but it’s such an experience, not an idea, that trying to explain it … I didn’t know what to expect. But I think the most surprising thing is that, while it’s hard — it’s hard — but even the hard parts are just beautiful. Because they’re hard, sometimes.”

18. Jerry Seinfeld 

“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.”

17.  Cam and Mitchell (Modern Family)

16. Jim Gaffigan

“You are not only waking up sleep deprived, but now you are also sleep deprived and in charge of another human being.”

15. Ray Romano

“Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.”

14. Sandy Cohen (The O.C.)

13. Homer J. Simpson (The Simpsons)

“Kids are great, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate and they practically raise themselves now-a-days, you know, with the internet and all.”

12. Phil Dunphy (Modern Family)

Just take a page from Phil’s-osophy …

“Never be afraid to reach for the stars, because even if you fall, you’ll always be wearing a Parent-chute.”

11. Chris Rock

“Every day I’m proud to be a dad. When you have kids, there’s no such thing as quality time. There’s just time. There’s no, ‘Ooh, his graduation’s better than going to the mall.’ It’s all kind of equal. Changing her diaper and her winning a contest — it’s all good.”

10. Michael Bluth (Arrested Development)

9.  Mark Twain

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

8. Randy Pausch       

“If you’re going to have childhood dreams you should have great parents who let you pursue them and express your creativity.”

7. Uncle Phil (The Fresh Prince of Bel Air)

“I’m your father. It is my job to protect you. It’s a job I refuse to quit, and at which I can’t afford to fail.”

6. Neil Patrick Harris

“We really, really wanted kids. We really had thought it through financially, emotionally, relationship-wise. We didn’t just accidentally get pregnant and decide that now we need to make this work. These kids come into our world with nothing but love.”

5. Danny Tanner (Full House)

“Well, just remember- when children seem the least lovable it means they need love the most.”

4. Brad Pitt

“Sleep is non-existent. It’s chaos at times, but there’s such joy in the house.”

3.  President Obama

“As fathers, we need to be involved in our children’s lives not just when it’s convenient or easy, and not just when they’re doing well — but when it’s difficult and thankless, and they’re struggling. That is when they need us most.”

2.  Bill Cosby AKA The Best TV Dad of All Time (The Cosby Show)

“Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.”

1.  Louis CK

There are so many Louis CK parenting quotes to choose from …

“Be a dad. Don’t be ‘Mom’s assistant.’ That’s depressing, just waiting for her to write you a list, walk around a store staring at it, calling her from the cereal aisle to make sure you got the right thing. Be a man. Make your own list. Fathers have skills that they never use at home. You run a landscaping business and you can’t dress and feed a 4-year-old? Take it on. Spend time with your kids and have your own ideas about what they need. It won’t take away your manhood; it will give it to you. I did that. I spent more time with my kids. And I found out that I’m a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don’t know what I’m doing. But my kids love me. Go figure.”