20 people talk about the struggles of being in a closeted relationship

Dating is hard and relationships are tricky enough to navigate without the added complication of loving someone who’s still in the closet. One day things are going beautifully, and the next you’re being introduced as “the roommate” — uh oh. Unfortunately, this is the reality for many members of the LGBTQ community who are unable to share their most authentic selves with those around them.

Because for some people, coming out just isn’t an option.

The reasons are many and often personal — maybe their family won’t accept their sexuality, maybe they’re working in a homophobic environment or maybe the timing just isn’t right. Whatever the reason, the struggle remains.

And based on the Whisper confessions below, these 20 people definitely understand what it’s like to date someone in the closet.

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So, maybe you won’t be making it “Facebook official” any time soon but that doesn’t mean you can’t still have an amazing relationship with your closeted love. Labels and titles are overrated and not declaring your relationship doesn’t make it any less real. At the end of the day, it’s all about spending time and creating memories with the person you love.