17 Mercury Retrograde quotes for Instagram…because it’s baaaack

If you’re like us, you must be ecstatic about Mercury going into retrograde on March 22nd. Woohoo. We can’t wait. In fact, we’re going to celebrate Mercury Retrograde’s homecoming with an Instagram post, featuring Mercury Retrograde quotes, just like we would for any old pal.

We’re kidding, of course. Mercury Retrograde is believed to have negative effects on travel and communication. Your car is more likely to break down during Mercury Retrograde. Or you might mistakenly enter into a weird lease agreement with hidden fees. Basically, any malarkey that takes place from March 22nd through April 15th, 2018 can be blamed on Mercury Retrograde.

So what exactly is Mercury Retrograde? According to The Old Farmer’s Almanac, it’s the point in a year when Mercury appears to be traveling backwards in its orbit (even though it’s actually just an illusion). Other planets have retrograde periods during any given year, but Mercury seems to be the most detrimental to us humans.

Listen, we’re all affected by Mercury Retrograde whether you believe in the magic of it or not. So we might as well band together and guide each other through this. Sharing your Mercury Retrograde qualms on Instagram is a great way to do so. Check out these Mercury Retrograde quotes that would make hilarious Instagram captions.

1Unless you’re ready for a full-on battle.

2Of course, you could always use the excuse…

3Amen, amen, amen!

4Honey? Where’s my clear quartz? Tell me where my clear quartz is, woman!



6I’m booked today. Come back tomorrow.


8Finally — a way to cheat the system!

9When your computer, tablet, and life is all buffering at once.

10*Snap, snap, snap*

11We’re not afraid of you, retrograde.

12If you’re trying to see things more positively:

13Things are just fantastic!

14Everyone has that one friend — or planet.

15We just can’t be bothered.

16Love you, but damn you.

17And when April 15th arrives:

Good luck this go around, everyone. Try your best to refrain from fights, travel faux pas, and weird contracts. At least this Mercury Retrograde won’t stick around long. But still…!