14 (and a half) times when staying in bed all day is the only correct decision in life

Some thing in life are so natural, so normal, that they need no explanation, no excuse. One of those things is the inherent right to stay in bed all day if you so choose. Because there are no reasons needed, the possibilities are endless. Here is just a small selection to inspire you.

1. Your significant other broke up with you in the most atrocious way possible. Or in the sweetest way possible. Or just via text.


2. You’ve got the flu a hang nail.


3. You peed on a stick and the color was different than you’d hoped.


4. A bird got trapped in your hallway and is squawking its head off and flapping against the ceiling, threatening to attack you if you try to leave your apartment. This is why earplugs and heavy blankets were invented. (And, yes, this happened to me.)


5. You didn’t get the job.


6. You did get the job and only have one day of freedom left.


8. It’s been a year since you last watched My So Called Life in its entirety.


7. Michael Jackson died. Then Corey Haim died. Then David Bowie died. Then Prince died. Then your childhood died.


8. You spent 14 hours at Disneyland yesterday and are so wiped.


9. That rainbow dye job you saw on Pinterest didn’t turn out so good, and your stylist is booked until tomorrow.


10. Two words: chemical peel.


11. You started with a bloody mary at brunch and then you saw the sign for bottomless mimosas. And then you went to that street festival that had a craft beer garden, and then the art opening that had free wine and then to your friends party with her famous vegan jello shots.


12. You maxed out your credit cards and are unemployed and it costs money to live, so you’re just going to take a little sabbatical. There is no currency in bed.


13. Because, bed derives from the Latin word for heaven. (Isn’t it?)


14(a). The best sex you’ve ever had.


14(b). The best sex you’ve ever had.


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