For years, I thought I was a genius. I had made sure to make sure that my web history was always cleared out the second that I hit that “X” button, both at work and home. It’s not like I had anything terrible to hide – I just preferred it if my employer didn’t realize that I spent a chunk of the day researching whatever happened to the cast of Kid Nation since 2007.
However, I was a fool. Only recently did I realize that Google keeps a log of your innate searches. While you can individually delete results you’re not proud of, sorting through the entire bundle is a bit of a timely process. My history started on May 9th of 2006. Between 6:15 and 7:44 PM, I heavily researched the backlash against Morgan Spurlock’s SuperSize Me, as well as some vegan sites. Days later, I looked at sites pertaining to the Winona Ryder’s clothing theft. Later that same day, I googled “Hiring someone with a criminal record.” I plead innocent. While I can’t accurately portray what my brain was going through at 10:30 that morning, I can definitely tell you that I wasn’t masterminding a robbery that might – at some point – interrupt my future employment.
I have to admit that my curiosity piqued based on the ongoing Casey Anthony court case. Ms. Anthony’s Internet history was a piece of evidence based on her allegations, for all of the right reasons. On a trial based on the disappearance and death of her daughter Caylee, “how to make chloroform” was a search on her history that got her into hot water. Despite the varying evidence, I was curious about what people would find about me. Again, I figured the results would be barren.
Despite my personal opinions that Casey is guilty of the crime, I realized that I can’t use her ill use of Google as a solid argument. Bits of curiosity on my own behalf, if collected, could depict me as a terrible person. After all, how could one truly justify why they looked up a page titled “Criminal Records and How to Get Back into the Workforce”?
On a positive note, I realized how much I’ve grown since the search log had started. While I’m not proud of looking at eight Family Circus cartoons followed by googling “Sad, Lonely Woman,” I realized that searches about women’s health, rights, and birth control skyrocketed after I got that job at a health clinic. Besides that one search for “foreign birds” on May 16, 2011, followed by trying to find the contact information for Amy Sherman-Palladino (to let her know how disappointed she made me during her last season of Gilmore Girls) my searches were intelligent, informative steps that helped me move forward with improving my life.
From calorie counts to cyber-stalking Nickelodeon celebrities from the 90s, my history has not only outlined my life, but made me realize that people could judge me based on what I’ve researched. What I never knew existed served as a time capsule of my life for the last six years.
Now I ask you: What searches have you been ashamed of? Do you think you’d be clean if Google was used to define you as an individual?
Image Credit: http://thejosevilson.com
I realize after looking at my searches that I was way more interested in the death of osama bin laden than I have been in anything else, ever
I love the image of the kids…looks like the kid in Home Alone.
I think my boss would be kinda surprised…lets just say I watch a ton of Supernatural and I look up pretty much anything to do with it.
ps you know Gilmore Girl’s last season was made without Amy Sherman-Palladino. It wasn’t her fault.
I can verify that as well. I watched the whole thing.
How did you find Google history? I’m kinda curious what mine would come up with! haha. I’m one of those people who clears their history on any computer that other people might use so the fact that this info is still out there is a little unsettling! I’m sure I haven’t Googled anything that could be used against me in a trial, but still!
It won’t let me reply to your comment, so I’ll reply to my own I guess! Thanks for the tip; i’ll try it later! And I’ll probably waste way too much time too!
Here’s what I did – I use gmail, so from the gmail screen, I clicked on my e-mail address, scrolled down to Account Settings, and “Web History” should be linked on the bottom. Be careful: I wasted more than one entire afternoon laughing over my results.
Crap, now I have to Google “How to delete your Google Search history”!!! Ack!!!!
Actual Google searches I have performed in the past month:
- CIA Foursquare
- Stoned feeling after eating bagel
- Wolverine costume fork
- Police car clip art
- Lima Heights Adjacent “real place”
- Fish antibiotics UTI
- Hey regular penis shun
…sigh.
lima heights ajacent bahahaha
not gonna lie, had that written in chalk with arrows pointing to my house.
so ghetto, so fly.
I was very sheltered as well, so when I finally got a boyfriend and got out of my parents house, he bought me a laptop and as that was my first time to have absolutely unlimited access to the world wide web (I wasn’t really allowed to spend a lot of time on the family computer, Dad thought it was wasteful), I may have gone a little overboard with crazy searches! lol
With all this talk of ‘how to make chloroform” I’m honestly curious how it’s made but I will NOT be googling it after all this, lol.
Everything written here is my nightmare. Also, I am really dying to know what’s going on with the Kid Nation cast. Too bad I’m afraid to even go near my search bar now. What about Yahoo!?
I had hoped Sophia would branch out into stardom – she did appear on Ellen post-show. The end of my search included me looking for all of them on Facebook, just to see if they were still friends with each other. Most of them were! My heart melted. I totally loved that show.
The last season of GG pretty much ruined the show for me. Sadness. I know that this is not your topic. But it has to be said.
I was thinking about this the other day, and how my search history is comparable to my diary or texts to my best friend… a weird way to see what is going through someone’s mind!
Amy Sherman-Palladino had very little to do with the last season of GG. they got rid of her. boom.
I was just bummed that she left Season 6 on such an unappealing cliffhanger, and then the new guy had to pick up the pieces. I’m just dying to know what those “3 Last Words” for the finale would have been if she were still on board. ( “Bon Voyage” still makes me cry, though. I give him/them props for that.)
I googled at work just last week to see if Chuck Norris has ever worn a fanny pack. And the answer is yes, yes he has.
as a sheltered child, I used the internet to google every joke, innuendo and swear word I didn’t get when I first went to college because I was too ashamed to admit I was the only one who didn’t get it….it was horrible and I learned my lesson about just speaking up when you don’t know what’s going on.
Now I pretty much google anything I think would be interesting to learn more about, so hopefully it reflects a craving for knowledge.
Hahaha love it!! I’ve also wanted to contact Amy Sherman-Palladino and tell her how mad I am that she left last season!
I guess at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter. Who cares if what you search for is (what people will think is) the most ridiculous or insane thing. Being monitored is scary, but you aren’t doing anything wrong. The internet is so great because you can find endless information for FREE. S’all about knowledge my friends, and there is nothing wrong with that. Nice post, thank you for the awareness.
My google search is the only shocking thing I will have left behind if I was to suddenly die. And it WILL shock you.