Your Friends' Babies are YOUR Babies Too

Are your friends having babies? I feel like all my friends are having babies. I support this wholeheartedly and with enough enthusiasm to power an old-timey locomotive.

Now, a lot of people get uneasy when everyone around them starts breeding. This is because they are short-sighted, unimaginative people who are too busy lacking vision to see the big picture. While they’re concerned with how they’re aging, as seen through the lens of their friends’ maturity, and indulging their self-pity because they aren’t the ones having the actual babies, they are, in fact, missing a great opportunity.

Hi. Babies. B-A-B-I-E-S. All-access pass to Cuteville without the hassles of gestation, lactation, and 3am diaper changes. All we have to do is be the fun aunt (or “aunt” if your legit family hasn’t reproduced yet), spoil them, make them love us, watch them gurgle joyously and give them back when their little lips start to quiver and their little eyes bulge in little baby-panic.

Even their sadness is cute. Don’t they know that their earth-shattering fear and discomfort over anything and everything is baseless? If I was a baby, I’d enjoy having no real worries and being hugged and comforted for freaking out every time I thought my mom disappeared when, in fact, all I did was close my eyes for a minute. They don’t even have to burp! People rub their little backs and do it for them!

Then they go through this phase. Glimpses of it show up later, in toddler hood, but around the six-month mark (or whenever their vision stops being blurry), they get this Look. You’ll be holding them and having a silly old time, and suddenly they’ll give you the Look. Their eyes bore straight in yours, with this piercing gaze like they hold the key to the universe and understand how it relates to your measly little adult life.

They size you up, wordlessly communicating that they know all about your past, present and future with that Look, but by the time they start figuring out how speech works, it is gone. Maybe it’s because their newfound ability to focus leaves an impression on their little vision centers, creating the illusion of insightful gazing. Maybe they’ve watched too much Baby Einstein and have become disillusioned with the initial excitement of defined shapes and lines.

Or maybe babies are just MAGIC.


Julia Gazdag is a writer, photographer, and breakfast taco whisperer. She hails from Budapest and has lived in New York, LA and Austin before moving to Portland, OR where she is now enjoying pine trees and bridges. She is quite fond of dinosaurs. She also prefers eggs, potatoes, and pico de gallo in her breakfast tacos. She writes for The College Crush and Off Our Chests. You can find her on twitter (@juliagazdag), facebook, and vyou. Her photos can be found on


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