Lies I Tell My Daughter “You two have to share everything, now give that to your sister” Julia Obst

When people ask me if Sunny has adjusted to being a big sister I lie and say, “Yes, she loves it.”

The truth is, Sunny has come to terms with the fact that she now has a sister, but sometimes I shudder to think what would happen if they were left in a room for more than ten minutes. Sunny’s an amazing kid but I feel like she would go all “Baby Jane” on Marlowe if no one was looking.

I kind of understand it.  She had the whole family to herself and now she has to share.  And when it comes to sharing, Sunny always gets the short end of the stick. Let’s be honest here, we may saying that everyone has to share with each other but “sharing” between two siblings really means that at any point the baby may start crying and screaming for whatever you’re holding, and then we immediately give her whatever it is she’s crying for because after all, she’s a baby and we will do anything to get her to stop crying.  I know you were having fun, and I know that a baby doesn’t know how to use an iPod, but if she wants it, we have to drop what we’re doing and give it to her.  That’s sharing.

There’s also an upside to Sunny trying to  “share”. I used to have a huge problem getting Sunny to eat. These days, all I have to do is tell her that her little sister Marlowe is going to eat her dinner and Sunny is at the dinner table begging me to eat whatever Marlowe is having, even going so far as stealing it off of Marlowe’s high chair.

The days of having to rely on McDonalds and sugar to get Sunny to take in calories when I got worried about her being too skinny are over. Now I can’t get her to stop eating because she’s trying to spite Marlowe!

Recently, Sunny took the sharing thing too far and decided to “share” her makeup with Marlowe. Sunny took her face paint and one of my lipsticks and when I came back from my five minute trip to the kitchen, poor Marlowe’s face had been graffitied. I asked Sunny why she did that and she just responded, “Marlowe asked me to do it.”  I told Sunny how impressed I was with Marlowe’s speaking ability, as she’s only 16 months old.

Sunny just smiled.

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  1. My niece (Cass) is two and my nephew (Kaedan) is 6 month old. I was babysitting one day and my nephew was sitting (more or less) against the couch. Cass comes barreling over and looks at me then (all while making eye contact with me) pushes him right over. It’s rough getting used to not being the baby anymore I guess. As soon as they got into daycare and the other kids started paying attention to and spoiling Kaedan, Cass immediately became super protective and would say “NO! That’s MY little brother!” and hug him. Kids, haha.

  2. I’m a nanny of a 4 year old (Annabel) and a 6 month old (Lisa), and I have the same problems. Annabel is having trouble with the fact that she’s not getting all the attention anymore. When Lisa is on my lap, she suddenly wants to sit on my lap as well, but she wouldn’t have wanted to if Lisa wasn’t. And sometimes it’s hard for her to understand (and for me to explain) that Lisa is just a baby. Lisa doesn’t know if the toy she’s playing with is hers or Annabels, and Annabel gets frustrated with her (“Because you have toys as well, why do you take mine?”). She also doesn’t want Lisa to wear her pajamas (her old ones, she doesn’t even fit them anymore) because they’re hers, and not Lisa’s.
    And you’re totally right about the ‘short end of the stick’. If Lisa’s crying because she wants a toy, I give it to her. When Annabel cries, I tell her to pick something else to play with. Even though I know Annabel loves her sister very much, I think it’s sometimes hard for her that everything has changed. I do think she’ll get used to it, at least, I hope so.

  3. I agree about the emotional roller coaster!! I just keep saying “you will be best friends when you grow up!”

  4. I love Sunny’s sudden urge to eat her food, whatever it is, just so she won’t have to “compete” with Marlowe over it. Raising girls is such an interesting experience. Mine are 6 and some days it seems they’ve hit the emotional roller coaster of puberty early.

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