Be your own best ally. Call you your #1. Always put you first. It’s easier said than done but there’s never a good reason to betray yourself. If you look inwards, how do you feel about yourself? Do you love yourself? Do you side with yourself when there’s been a fight or someone is angry at something you did? Or do you feel instantly guilty and terrible? If so, then you might need some tuning somewhere in the “I’m awesome” department. It’s good to do a little check-in from time to time to remind yourself of the true you.
To begin this process, write a list of things you like about yourself and love about yourself, then list all the unique qualities that you have. Even ask your friends what they like about you and what makes you special and different. Once you get that list good and fleshed out, ask yourself what you don’t like about yourself. Are these things that you can change/work on, or are they things you think are inherently part of who you are? If it’s the latter than it might be something to be examined.
I had the somewhat unique experience of having to regrow my self-love. The knowing and loving my true self was replaced for a long time with a whole lot of “knowledge” that I was in fact a not-that-good person. I say knowledge because when it’s coming from inside you feelings like this display themselves as reality. They become simply truth. I had to break away and dispel this faux-knowledge by literally discussing with another person the sources of the reasons I had deemed me “bad” in my own mind. One day I just heard myself and realized, “Oh, I really was trying to be good.” The other side of that is the realization that at some point someone else made you feel you must be bad. One of the super dangerous and crappy things about thinking you are at your core a bad person, is that you will continue to fulfill this in your actions therefore reinforcing that you are bad. The answer to all unknowns will instantly stem from “Yep, that’s ‘cause of me,” when in reality this will not be the case.
If you have a super awesome healthy level of self love then you don’t have to worry about this piece, but nonetheless it’s good to remind yourself of who you know you are. It will make you stand taller, not second guess yourself when stating your feelings, will protect and maintain your boundaries, and prevent others from damaging your confidence. You should never not be on the side of you, and you should always be your top priority. This isn’t selfish, it’s actually the best way to be selfless. If you are your best self you can give to others as a healthy whole being. Think of it like the emergency instructions on an airplane. You must secure your own mask before tending to others.
Part of me craves little elementary school style exercises like this in my life just so I can reflect about myself in these kinds of ways. Where and why else would you ever have the reason? Hope you write some long and flattering lists of yourselves! And happy Sunday. xox
Featured image © 1976 United Artists, feature film “Rocky”