Chick Literal

You Are Not Blair Waldorf

Dear Self,

What I’m about to say should be obvious, as you are not an over-privileged Upper East Side former princess.  Sure, there was this one time that you schemed against a blonde frenemy to land a guy.  Yes, your high school uniform also involved wearing a pleated skirt and a blazer.  You’re both brunettes with a penchant for headbands.  But self, you are not Blair Waldorf.

Sure, Blair has her admirable traits.  She’s a strong, passionate young woman.  She’s well dressed and well read.  She’s an incredibly loyal friend (except when she isn’t).  She’s willing to fight for what she wants until she gets it.  Unfortunately, what she wants is often Chuck Bass, a man capable of taking the term “toxic bachelor” to a whole new level.

Self, if you were better at taking your own advice, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.  On-again, off-again relationships are a staple of female-oriented television programming, but that’s no reason they should be a staple of your life.  Blair and Chuck are not a Big and Carrie for a new generation, they’re just another example of a deeply dysfunctional relationship that you have no business trying to pattern your own after.

Love is not a magical and transformative force that will turn the baddest of bad boys into a knight in shining armor.  Love does not mean that you should forgive someone time and time again, when they bail on your Italian vacation, when they trade you for a hotel, when they sleep with a different blonde frenemy.

Just because two people are capable of deeply hurting each other over and over again does not make them passionate, star-crossed lovers.  It makes them two people who keep doing terrible things to each other.  Someone’s ability to make you completely and utterly soul-crushingly miserable does not mean they are a soul mate with some deep insight into your psyche.  They are just someone who is really good at making you unhappy.

Blair’s wrong; the great loves aren’t the crazy ones.  Sure, no one waxes poetic about compatibility or shared goals, but maybe they should.  Just because a relationship is crazy doesn’t make it great; it might just mean that two people are slowly driving each other toward an actual mental breakdown.

Certainly Blair and Chuck’s relationship has evolved and grown.  As characters, they’re maturing and turning into people who finally seem to care about each other more than they care about power games.  Yet there are any number of horrible things they’ve done prior to now that would have made any sane person walk away for good.  TV characters keep having the same relationships because that’s what the fans want, and guest stars cost extra.  There are no shippers for real life relationships; there is no reason not to walk away and let the past be in the past.

Self, you, like Blair, have a tendency to imagine your life into a perfectly scripted movie.  Unfortunately, this works a lot better for Blair, since she is actually a fictional character.  You are a real girl, living a real life, and it’s time to start acting like it.



Image via TV Recappers Anonymous