Chick Literal You Are Not Blair Waldorf Andrea Greb

Dear Self,

What I’m about to say should be obvious, as you are not an over-privileged Upper East Side former princess.  Sure, there was this one time that you schemed against a blonde frenemy to land a guy.  Yes, your high school uniform also involved wearing a pleated skirt and a blazer.  You’re both brunettes with a penchant for headbands.  But self, you are not Blair Waldorf.

Sure, Blair has her admirable traits.  She’s a strong, passionate young woman.  She’s well dressed and well read.  She’s an incredibly loyal friend (except when she isn’t).  She’s willing to fight for what she wants until she gets it.  Unfortunately, what she wants is often Chuck Bass, a man capable of taking the term “toxic bachelor” to a whole new level.

Self, if you were better at taking your own advice, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.  On-again, off-again relationships are a staple of female-oriented television programming, but that’s no reason they should be a staple of your life.  Blair and Chuck are not a Big and Carrie for a new generation, they’re just another example of a deeply dysfunctional relationship that you have no business trying to pattern your own after.

Love is not a magical and transformative force that will turn the baddest of bad boys into a knight in shining armor.  Love does not mean that you should forgive someone time and time again, when they bail on your Italian vacation, when they trade you for a hotel, when they sleep with a different blonde frenemy.

Just because two people are capable of deeply hurting each other over and over again does not make them passionate, star-crossed lovers.  It makes them two people who keep doing terrible things to each other.  Someone’s ability to make you completely and utterly soul-crushingly miserable does not mean they are a soul mate with some deep insight into your psyche.  They are just someone who is really good at making you unhappy.

Blair’s wrong; the great loves aren’t the crazy ones.  Sure, no one waxes poetic about compatibility or shared goals, but maybe they should.  Just because a relationship is crazy doesn’t make it great; it might just mean that two people are slowly driving each other toward an actual mental breakdown.

Certainly Blair and Chuck’s relationship has evolved and grown.  As characters, they’re maturing and turning into people who finally seem to care about each other more than they care about power games.  Yet there are any number of horrible things they’ve done prior to now that would have made any sane person walk away for good.  TV characters keep having the same relationships because that’s what the fans want, and guest stars cost extra.  There are no shippers for real life relationships; there is no reason not to walk away and let the past be in the past.

Self, you, like Blair, have a tendency to imagine your life into a perfectly scripted movie.  Unfortunately, this works a lot better for Blair, since she is actually a fictional character.  You are a real girl, living a real life, and it’s time to start acting like it.

XOXO,

Andrea

Image via TV Recappers Anonymous

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  1. Thank you for this!!! Sometimes you just need someone to tell you how dumb you’re acting. It’s nice for the reminder.

  2. Thanks for this article! All young girls need to hear this kind of message: “Just because a relationship is crazy doesn’t make it great; it might just mean that two people are slowly driving each other toward an actual mental breakdown.” I worry about the high level of fans, particularly young ones, that seem to like this and other pairings on TV that promote such awful behavior in relationships. Thankfully, it looks like the writers of this show are trying to turn it around with the current relationship storyline focused on Dan/Blair, which shows a much more mature, equal relationship. Anyways, I appreciate you bringing attention to this topic!

    • Also, I wanted to add that I disagree with the comment above about Dan and Blair having no chemistry. I think they have great chemistry! ;)

  3. I’m not Blair Waldorf either…I’m better. I am the down-to-earth, sweet, and sensible version of her. I’m still strong-willed, classy, loyal, and a go-getter…just not someone who would walk on other people’s backs to get what I want. The only thing I am jealous of is her wardrobe. And Chuck and Dan are both not good enough. Ditch them both and look for another prince!

  4. Blair and Chuck will always be the perfect couple. Yes it may have something to do with the fact that i fancy the pants off of both of them but still I will always aspire to be her. Even though I might also have conversations with myself like this, I know that truly, I’m in denial.

  5. I totally see what you’re saying here, but it’s just so easy to get caught up in the Chair drama! If Blair was a real person I wonder if she would be any happier than you or I, even though she has so many people who aspire to be her. Also, I am soo not into the Dan/Blair thing, they have zero chemistry and are much funnier when they hate each other.

    xoxo

  6. Love Blair and Chuck, just not together anymore. They really have outgrown the antics they play. Her newfound beau is actually well suited for her. Dan seems to bring a sense of calm to her fiery nature. Balance that was needed. However, whether she’s out for revenge or being sweet, I’ll always wish to emulate her, headband and all. :) xoxo, GG lover

  7. Could not agree more!! Enough with the drama :)

  8. but we all know they’ll end up together…

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