I sincerely apologize for my initial “reading a book by its cover” judgement regarding your use as “pants.”
Your name implies such a use, but for months I believed otherwise. The only acceptable form of pants for public use should only be jeans. Sweatpants, yoga pants and leggings imply only laziness.
I found you to be repulsive, and dare I say it, sratty (it’s like fratty with an s).
As my first year of college continued, I was constantly faced with you every single day. We became enemies. You mocked me for not being skinny enough to pull you off. You cheated girls of their originality by sitting comfortably on the hips of half the female population on my campus. You taunted me by being everywhere and my hate for you was ever-increasing.
Your name is Yoga Pants. You are pants used for yoga.
I knew you were just a fad and you would quickly dissolve into history.
You were ruthless in your quest to make me want you. I said no, but you kept calling me back.
I caved. I tried you on myself. You were like a second skin. I resented your comfort.
I secretly started wearing you in private behind the wall of my computer screen while I was doing homework. (That’s a joke; we all know I was really just watching 30 Rock on Netflix.)
Words can’t describe the way I felt when I first discovered who you really were. But, yoga pants, you changed my life for the better.
You hug me in ways a man will never be able to. You compliment me in ways a man will also never be able to. You make me feel good.
Thanks to you, I can eat as much as I want without spilling over the top of my itchy denim jeans.
I can do anything! You’ve given me and my curves the confidence to go into public wearing you. You are basically a one-size-fits-all for my ever-flutuating female weight. I can work out in you, then crawl into bed and eat all the snacks without even having to change. I can wear you as pajamas then wake up late for class and wear you there, too. You’re a life saver.
Life is good. All thanks to you, yoga pants. You rule.
You can read more from Summer Winkler on her blog.