Pickle heads! This is quite the predicament. Is it okay to go to coffee with a best friend’s significant other? If it were just business? And, if said best friend knew about it? And, said best friend knows that you always have his/her best interests at heart? Would you?
Because I would. So long as it’s cleared with the best friend. You see, there are areas in which certain people excel more than others. Sometimes those people can help you and sometimes they happen to be the boyfriends or girlfriends of your current friend. Now, even though the meeting is innocent and means nothing more than, a person kind enough to assist you in bettering yourself professionally, there is an unsaid “no no” factor in the air. I am learning this now and even though I am not okay with it, socially, I must abide by it and follow a set of ground rules.
We all know you and I mean no harm and don’t plan on boinking said friend’s girlfriend/boyfriend (unless they are in an open relationship) because you/I ain’t no hood rat, but in order to be kind and true to our friendship we have to keep an open line of communication with our friend about this meeting. The quicker and more honest we are about the meeting, the better everyone will feel in the end. Some friends may say “Heck yeah, go to coffee! Get that help, girl! My BF is mad good at his job and can help you!” On other occasions you will get “You know to be honest, it would make me feel more comfortable if I were there, or if you just discussed it over email.”
Boom. Discussion over. Air cleared. Now, put yourself in those shoes before you say “This is absurd! This is business, I mean no harm!” People work so very hard on maintaining love and trust in relationships, only to have it shattered when they decide to no longer communicate openly about how they feel. Thus, this is respect for a relationship other than your own.
And on the other end, regardless of how confident you feel about your relationship, you might wonder WHAT IF? What if we break up and they stay friends? WHAT IF they make out after the latte is finished because it was spiked? Those WHAT IF’s are so totes normal because we are human and our guard is up. My suggestion? If you are the best friend, the boyfriend, or the girlfriend, Talk. To. Them. About. It. Don’t hold it in and assume that foul play is going on before you get the facts. Also, don’t go to the meeting without asking/talking to your loved one first. Then and only then can you live in pure happiness and we can all make billions of dollars. (I don’t know how that last part works)
Now, if you are being shady-town and having this meeting behind backs without communicating, then I am going to lock you in an attic and make you watch “The Babysitter’s Club” then “Fatal Attraction”. That will heal just right. See ya!
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