Why You Should Travel AloneMolly McGlynn

I looked around the cavernous room. Wall to ceiling bookcases that were filled with neglected, moldy books written in Spanish lined the room. I plopped myself onto the small, lumpy twin bed accentuated sadly with one flat pillow, unable to take my massive backpack off while standing up. I began to weep. Why am I in Buenos Aires? Why am I alone?

A few hours of self-pitying later, I heard a knock at the door. Sergio, a six-foot-four Swiss hippie with a booming voice whom I would later look back on fondly as my stepping-stone into the next three months of my life, told me to get dressed and be ready to leave in fifteen minutes.  I tried to protest this as it was already close to midnight and I had been traveling for ten hours. “I don’t know what time you go to sleep in Canada, you crazy girl, but it’s probably around the time they eat dinner here,” he refuted. There clearly was no time for moping in a city pulsing with the vitality I was lacking in my own.

Three weeks prior to coming to Buenos Aires, I was sitting at my computer at my first real job out of college working for the Toronto International Film Festival (my dream job at the time) when a sensation of numbness crept up the length of my whole arm. I panicked. I ran to my manager’s office, told her something was wrong, and went to my doctor ready to plead insanity. She told me I was so tense that I was actually pinching a nerve in my neck which was causing the numbness in my hands and arms. I was not going crazy, but my body was physically holding onto my grief. Two weeks prior to this moment, my mother had died from cancer. Not wanting to screw up my chances at this job, I went back to work too quickly after her funerals in both Toronto and Ireland, where she was from. Something had to give.

At twenty-one, I was too young for this. I was too young not to feel reckless, alive, happy and free. I needed to cut the chains of sadness and feeling of duty to be an adult (whatever that means) that I was dragging around. I tried to think of the warmest, most vivacious, passionate, life filled place I have ever heard of – Buenos Aires. The next day at work, I went online, booked a ticket and sent an email to my very protective older sisters to tell them that I was going to Argentina for an indefinite amount of time and I would be back when I was ready. I did not show them that I was afraid and had no idea what I was doing.

That first night, Sergio, my flatmate who I’d never see again, introduced me to all of his friends and asked them to take care of me as he thought I was “a bit too sad for such a pretty girl”. A kind Brazilian boy took me the next morning to get me set up with a cell phone so that I could begin my connected life. I enrolled in a Spanish school. Filled with first day jitters, I eyed the pretty, gregarious gaggle of Australian girls who would soon become my partners in crime. A young DJ from Amsterdam took Sergio’s place as my flatmate and later become my friend and sometimes boyfriend.  He taught me to love Seinfeld and confirmed that I hate nondescript, European techno. I took a tango class and came out of it with absolutely no transferable skills but a date with swarthy, charismatic Argentine businessman who kissed me pressed up against the crumbling façade of my rented apartment. I never saw him again. Perhaps my ratty jeans and t-shirt date attire didn’t scream South American chic.

I knew when I was ready to come home. I found myself sitting by a glacial lake in Patagonia after a long hike alone. It was such a relief to be in my own solitary company as I had met so many people on my travels that I was rarely alone. Like the first night, I wept again but this time it was different. I wasn’t scared anymore but relieved and accepting of everything that happened while I was here. I reflected on my time in Argentina.  In a practical sense, my Spanish got much better, I became more adept at navigating around a large, complex foreign city and I met new friends. I became more independent. In perhaps the less practical but far more interesting sense, I “fell in love”. Twice. I had a brief bi-curious fling with an Australian girl. I drank too much at times, stayed out past dawn and fell naively for the charms of Argentine men. I jumped off the side of a mountain strapped to a Vin Diesel doppelganger in a parasail. I fell asleep in a field in the town where Che Guevara grew up. I got sunburnt. I got lost. Luckily, it took getting lost to find myself again.

If I could beg every young woman (without sounding like I’m giving a valedictorian speech) to do one thing, it would be to go somewhere alone. It doesn’t have to be South America or a kibbutz in Israel or the Peace Corps. Buy a bus ticket, hop in the car, jump on the train and get off at a place that is at least an hour from where you live. Talk to a stranger, take them for coffee, wander around and buy yourself a souvenir.  Get lost for a day. Please don’t take a self-portrait picture of yourself to later put on Facebook so that you can show people how adventurous you are, if you can help it. This precious moment is yours and yours alone and for once something belongs to no one else but you.

Beyond this advice, remember to use condoms, wear sunscreen, look the right way while crossing traffic and if you’re going down south, careful of the tap water, handsome men and stray cats.

Featured image via spaceg.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/talmeida Thamy Almeida

    Such wonderful advice!! I love traveling and I always find that wandering around a new city alone is thrilling and can really help a person get in touch with oneself.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1281111354 Ariana Espiritu

    Currently in London. Traveling alone (not anymore). This is so perfect for where I am right now. Which is in a cafe, hiding from the rain.

  • http://www.facebook.com/seanellen Sean Devenport

    i traveled to australia alone my junior year of college, and it changed my life! i agree, this is a must for everyone!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jstrace Jenny Stracener

    LOVE this write up! I feel like I’m telling my friends too often to get up and do something on their own, but you took it a step further and are reminding me to get out and adventure- thanks, Molly!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=710470318 Sarah H

    I love travelling alone! It really is awesome. You meet so many new people that to be honest I don’t think you’d meet if you are travelling with someone. I have travelled to Europe by myself about 11 (yes, eleven) times now and I have managed to have dinner in Antwerp with a couple of Belgian people I met on a train, dinner in Salzburg with a couple of Aussies staying at the hostel I was who actually came from a town 20mins drive from mine, shopping and dinner in Prague with an American lady I met at the hostel – in short, I’ve made countless friends plus it forces you out of your comfort zone as you have to rely on yourself. I now have friends in many countries in Europe and it’s getting hard to catch up with them all each time I go back. Travelling by yourself allows you to find out your strengths (and work on your weaknesses – for example I hate asking for help, especially when you aren’t sure the person you are asking even speaks English, but when you’re completely lost in the middle of Budapest you have to do something). I’d recommend it to everyone – go out into the world and find yourself.

  • http://www.facebook.com/noemie.faivre1 Noémie Faivre

    I should do that. I feel I need it. Maybe a few days for a first time. Thanks for sharing. You’re always writing such amazing papers.

  • http://www.facebook.com/szarrinkelk Sepideh Zarrinkelk

    I always postponed all my travel plans when my friends didn’t want to hop along but now I feel like I should just move on alone. This article was brilliant and totally changed my view on traveling alone.

  • Becca Sands

    I love this. My college roommate has been to California, Mexico, Italy, and now Korea on her own. She’s amazing at it, and I am so jealous of her for being good at traveling. It terrifies me. I hate not knowing where I am and meeting new people, it sets me on edge. I wish I could change that, though. If I had the funds, I’d give it a try.

  • http://www.facebook.com/kimberlymontgomeryhawkins Kimberly Hawkins

    I plan on moving to Nashville within the next year, completely by myself. I know absolutely no one there, my nearest relative is 3 hours away, and I have never even set foot in the city. My friends and family think I am crazy! I do things by myself all the time. Mainly because most of the small group of friends I have are married and I am newly single. I have never really been on my own. I went straight from my parents to my ex-husband. Spending those crazy, formative years of my early twenties as someone’s wife has left me feeling kinda like I don’t know who I am really. I am full of wanderlust, and it’s time to make up for lost time. I know Nashville isn’t as exotic as Europe or Argentina, but I think I’ll have a great adventure nonetheless. Thanks for validating me! LOL!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=509222211 Kim Damman

    yes! friends always act surprised when I travel alone. It’s always ‘why’? or ‘weren’t you lonely’? while in fact actually being alone while traveling alone is a rare occasion. :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/vanessawieland Vanessa Wieland

    I booked a ticket for 6 days to England for my 30th birthday by myself, freaked out but resigned to the fact that I couldn’t wait on anyone else anymore.
    Best decision of my life and completely redefined who I was and am.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=559766643 Sarah Nichols

    Such perfect timing for me to read this! I just traveled to Italy, Austria and Germany by myself because I needed to escape from my reality for awhile. But when I got there, I just felt horribly alone, in countries where I knew no one and spoke very little of the language. But despite all that, I learned a lot about myself and I don’t regret it at all.

  • http://www.facebook.com/audsey Audrey Leihser

    That’s a beautiful story! The best trip I ever had was when I went to San Francisco alone to meet up with my long-distance pen-pal/love of my life. He stood me up. I went out and have the best long weekend ever. There were no pictures or nearby friends to prove that I was having the time of my life — I just was. It was so great to put everything behind me for three days and just LIVE. Exhilerating!

    • http://www.facebook.com/therealmollymcg Molly McGlynn

      Blessing in disguise perhaps?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=659365772 Linzy Allen

    Beautiful!

  • http://www.facebook.com/shereen.zink Shereen Zink

    So in love with this post. The first time I flew anywhere, it was to Australia by myself and I was TERRIFIED, but of course, things were fine. Any time I do anything alone I get terrible anxiety, but those experiences tend to be the most enjoyable and the best for you overall. Loved this story!

  • http://www.facebook.com/therealmollymcg Molly McGlynn

    Thanks for all the great feedback – love reading about everyone’s travel experiences. Guess I’m not alone in my solo travel love ;)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000478337826 Carly Bonner

    Wow, This was a great article.. I’m saving this. I’m 21 and feeling the same.. But I’m nervous I won’t meet anyone. Eh.. maybe I should just do it :p

  • http://www.facebook.com/smpurnell Sidney Molino Purnell

    Thank you for writing this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=608231300 Cathy Corino-Jaggi

    I went to Japan on a week’s notice once. I was alone for the first few days and quickly became intoxicated by Tokyo. What an amazing city. When I returned from the US I was determine to travel as much as possible. During an incredibly rough time in my life I picked up and took myself to England. With England as my home base I spent about 5 weeks traveling through France, Germany, Ireland and Wales. I came back with a renewed lease on life. I had proven to myself that I was strong and capable of doing anything I put my mind to. And to make things sweeter, I ended up meeting the man who would become my husband and father of my daughter. What a kicking bonus to my travels.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=6901628 Alison Charli

    Thanks for sharing this article, it made me tear up. You have an amazing spirit.

    • http://www.facebook.com/therealmollymcg Molly McGlynn

      Ali!!!! <3 <3 <3

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