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Why does nobody on The Bachelorette look like me?

First off, let me wholeheartedly declare my love for The Bachelor, The Bachelorette and yes, even its more dysfunctional spin-off, The Bachelor Pad. I even l love The Bachelorette so much that I wrote a blog post about why, despite my love for the show, I would make a horrible contestant.

Like what I assume must be hundreds of thousands of other young women my age, I too engage in the Monday night ritual of watching The Bachelorette, which, for those of you who don’t know, usually involves a few bottles of wine with your girlfriends, hurried and impassioned conversations during commercial breaks and of course, the most important part of the evening, the “post-screening summit” – a discussion whose energy would rival that of a G8 summit any day.

Though I am both aware and interested in the many cultural implications that a show like The Bachelor/Bachelorette exposes in our society, there is one particular issue as of late that has my interest especially peaked. As of April 2012, two former African-American cast members are currently suing ABC’s hit television franchise for what they deem to be “racial discrimination”.

While normally I don’t take the criticisms leveled against The Bachelor/Bachelorette too seriously, claims such as the “absurdity” of finding a spouse on television or accusations that we are propagating a “fairy-tale ending” that doesn’t really exist, I strongly feel that the current issue being brought up about racial discrimination on The Bachelor/Bachelorette is one that should be discussed, rather than ignored.

There are a few reasons I feel more strongly on behalf of this particular concern than some of the more tried and true apprehensions regularly surrounding reality-dating shows. First, I myself am a woman of color. Full disclosure: I’m a Cuban, Korean, Filipino first-generation American woman, and my purpose in writing this article is not in hopes of speaking for entire groups of people, but rather to offer a personal narrative about how reality television is currently affecting my own little worldview.

The second reason is a bit more complex. You see, for the most part, I believe that when people choose to watch shows like The Bachelorette or Million Dollar Matchmaker or any other reality television dating series, they kind of know what they are getting themselves into. We expect some sense of suspended reality; in fact, that’s part of the reason we love watching these shows, because even though we know it’s probably not going to work out in the end, we still love watching people “fall in love”.  However, the danger in giving into that unrealistic “reality” is that we begin to believe it’s real. Whether we know it or not, everything we read, watch and listen to contributes to our larger ideas about how society works. It gives us our lens by which to frame our real realities. So what does this have to do with racial discrimination?

More than you think. By consistently having not only a majority, but an almost exclusively white cast on The Bachelor/Bachelorette, we are saying, whether intentionally or not, that it is only white people in this country who deserve to have a shot at finding true love.

What?! Some of you maybe reading this and find what I said to be completely absurd… of course that’s not what ABC is trying to say. This may just be to you another classic example of issues of race being blown out of proportion by the media, but I am not attempting to write on behalf of the entire liberal media. Rather, I write on behalf of myself and how the media I watch affects me.

It is strange to grow up in a country like America, so rich in its racial and cultural diversity, and yet find a shockingly lacking picture of that history reflected in our media. If you are not a woman of color, chances are you know someone who is, maybe it’s your co-worker, your neighbor, or even your best friend. Put yourself in our shoes for just a minute and imagine what it’s like to turn on the television and not see a single person that looks like you pass by for ten minutes, thirty minutes, and hour, or even two hours, Though it may not always be on the surface of your mind, a part of you takes note of that, reminding yourself that in many ways you are invisible, and the invisible cannot be beautiful, why they’re not even being seen.

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