I’ve never been to therapy, so like, how much would I need to stop actively hating people from middle school? That’s a question that I think about a few times a month.
Fine. I think about how much I probably need therapy, like, once a day, but I think about this particular reason for therapy once or twice a month. I don’t want to sound too spiteful or overly resentful, but the kids I went to middle school with were really not that nice. I don’t think I’m unique for having a bad experience there. Honestly, it’s probably one of my most relatable experiences. Middle school is really intense, really hard and mostly horrible I think for a lot of people.
Once you’re little older and in high school, there’s at least some awareness of your feelings, your angst and your fear.
If I hear certain names from eighth grade – like Max, literally the most common name on earth – I feel a wave of panic. If I see certain moms, who are now middle-aged with all their kids out of the house and who are way less concerned with their children’s playground politics, I fill up with a little hate. I can’t help it. I’ve moved on from other stuff, I swear. I’ve forgiven most people I’ve ever “hated”, and yet these people… these people I can’t fathom moving on from.