Last night, I fell asleep dreaming about the Olympics again but was rudely interrupted when an earthquake woke me up. I live in Los Angeles and these things happen. When I fell back asleep, a whole new dream unfolded.
I was in a vintage RV. My fellow passengers were all characters from the movie “Selena” including Selena herself, played by Jennifer Lopez. In a very obvious move on the part of my unconscious, Selena was singing her hit “Bidi Bidi Bom Bom” while her family and some crew members jammed and hummed along. They all maintained a steady sway to the beat and everyone had their eyes closed.
Everyone, that is, except for me and one of my real life co-workers, John, who was sitting next to me. We looked at each other. How did we get there? Where were we going? Was this really Selena and her entire Mexican-American family? And why did everyone have their eyes closed? Whatever the answers, we knew we needed to blend in.
Next thing I remember, John and I were sharing an office cubicle with a floor of dusty earth. We climbed up over our cubicle walls to find that we were surrounded by Selena’s family, hundreds of goats and miles and miles of desert. The family appeared to be in some sort of argument with a lot of finger pointing directed at Selena’s new husband. But I couldn’t understand anything they were saying because I don’t speak Spanish. So John started translating in my ear. This turned out to be a bad idea.
When Selena’s father noticed John and I whispering, he redirected his outstretched pointer finger to us. He started screaming, and so I immediately crawled under my desk and crouched into the fetal position. Then Selena’s family all squeezed into the cubicle. Everyone pointed and screamed at me, but I still had no idea what they were saying. But John was able to scream in loud enough English that the family was mad about the money and they wanted to know where it went.
And then it hit me. I was not me, Mina. I was Yolanda, the president of Selena’s Fan Club, the thief of her money and [SPOILER ALERT] her eventual murderer. But at the time of my dream, I had not yet killed Selena, so this was my chance to make amends. I screamed out, “Anything for Selenas!” just like that crazy guy in the movie. I don’t know if it worked, though. As soon as I said it, I woke up.