This week, I caught a summer cold. It has just been the worst. Fortunately, the Olympics got underway this weekend, so at least I had a shirtless Ryan Lochte to fawn over while otherwise feeling miserable and sorry for myself. Also in my company: cough syrup to help me go to sleep. But guess what happens when you ply a crazy dreamer with cough syrup? This is what went down Saturday night.
It started on the balcony of a two-story townhouse. It was on some beach somewhere with very clear water. Between that super clear water and the townhouse were great big sand dunes. Each sand dune held a trampoline at its highest point. Jumping on the trampolines were various clones of Reese Witherspoon. And the Reeses (Reesi?) were being really mean, too. They collectively mocked me for not participating in the trampoline session. But I didn’t want to jump. I wanted to watch the whales.
Way out in the clear water—past the Reese Witherspoons jumping on the trampolines on the sand dunes—hundreds of smaller-than-average humpback whales jumped in and out of the water. And beyond the jumping humpback whales was a great big cruise ship. But the cruise ship didn’t end up lasting that long because a GINORMOUS whale came out of nowhere and jumped across the length of the ship. It landed on top of it and cracked it in two, just like in “Titanic.”
I started to panic and decided I needed get out of there ASAP. Next thing I knew, I was running over the sand dunes when it began to snow. Suddenly, giant gummy bears appeared all around me. And they were crying.
Chris Hemsworth, in full Thor regalia, showed up at my side and screamed, “We must feed them!” Apparently we needed to feed the giant gummy bears by smooshing vanilla frozen yogurt into their “mouth areas.” This was actually quite fun, but also kind of sad. Because no matter how much frozen yogurt we smooshed into their mouths, the gummy bears just wouldn’t stop crying.
Chris and I eventually gave up and took a break in a teal green Mazda parked on one of the slopes. Once we were inside the car, we listened to voicemails from Bela Karolyi. I have no idea what Bela Karolyi wanted, but I do now know I should probably stay off the cough syrup before bedtime.
Featured image via TeamUSA.org