It came on the radio today that, thanks to Styles, Potter and Windsor, Harry has overtaken Oliver as the most popular baby name in the UK. Amelia has overtaken Olivia to the #1 spot for girls, which is less easy to explain but I like to think it’s because of the lovely Amelia Pond, Doctor Who assistant extraordinaire.
Anyway, it got me thinking about names, why name trends are newsworthy and how names are the ultimate first impression. It also reminded me of why it’s so upsetting when people continually get one’s name wrong.
So, hands up who thought my name would be pronounced Lie-za, as in Minelli? Quite a lot of you, I see. Anyone mis-read it as Liz? Lisa? Anyone read it as Lee-za? If you fall into the last category then you get the gold star. Hmm, let’s try and think of another example of a famously mispronounced name. How about Mama Giggles, Zooey Deschanel? I read that as ‘Zoo-ee” for years before finding out that it’s pronounced like Zoe.
When people get your name wrong
No-one really likes it when they get called the wrong name. It’s one thing if a stranger (the guy in Starbucks, the postman, the call-centre worker) spells or pronounces it wrong on the one time you cross paths. But it’s quite another when people get your name wrong consistently.
In my experience, pretty much the worst case scenario is when you don’t correct someone soon enough and it becomes too late to do so. This is why my hairdresser still calls me Liza-pronounced-as-in-Minelli, and why I have to pronounce it that way when I call to book appointments. To correct her now would be embarrassing all round. Plus, going to the hairdresser is quite stressful (all that smalltalk!) and being called Lie-za gives me a weird sense of detachment and confidence. For real.
The problem comes when people get our names wrong out of laziness or even defiance, which frankly just shows a lack of respect. I think people sometimes see my name as an affectation, that I was actually christened Elizabeth or Lisa and have decided to change it. Even if I had done that then, still, tough. How many Andrews can’t stand to be called Andy? How many Elizabeths will scowl if you call them Lizzie or Liz rather than their preferred Beth? Bloody well call people by their preferred moniker – it means a lot to them.
What’s in a name?
So, what’s in a name? Well, our whole identity. They define us, by definition. We agonise for months about what to call our children because we know, often unconsciously, that the name you give your child is the first way their character will be judged. We need everyone to think well of our offspring (you know…because of evolution and stuff) and we therefore give them the name that we think perfectly characterises the person we hope they will be. To do this, we judge the people we know and know of and create associations between names and personality.
If names were not important then we wouldn’t dedicate a whole page of a broadsheet newspaper to reporting trends. We wouldn’t say “oh, you don’t look like a Matthew!” or “You could have been a Joan”. We wouldn’t agonise over whether, when and how to correct people when they get our name wrong.
There’s an interesting study into the names given to twins about halfway down this article which makes the point about how parents think the names they give their children will forge their identities. (It also mentions that “people generally resent the mispronunciation of their name because mispronunciation amounts to a distortion of their identity”. Indeed.)
So…
How do you respond when someone gets your name wrong? What funny names do you get called by accident? Is there a name you wish was yours? Has your tricky name ever landed you in a sticky situation? What are your secret baby names – I know you all have one! Finally, who can guess where the word cloud came from (easy!)
My name is Lindsay, but people call me Lauren a lot, especially if they don’t me that well. I had one job at a school and another teacher kept calling me Lauren, even after knowing me for months. I was to embarrassed to correct her.
I know! Spelling is also frustrating. My music teacher has spelled my name Lynsey fonr years for a timetable on a wall. She only realised it was wrong when I got it printed on a hoodie – Problem sorted! Also, my second name is ALWAYS said as “denim” *sigh* x
All of this just solidifies in my mind that overall, humanity is losing basic consideration. It annoys the hell out of me. Anyway. Emily has never really been mispronounced, but Riffle. Ugh. Riffle, not RIFLE. I am not a gun. I do not misspell my surname. Riffle. I even had a friend who thought I said Ruffles the first time we met so he still calls me that. He’s like my brother, so I let it slide, but jeez!
I was once called Sopp-hie. Granted, I was abroad xD
My name is Melanie, and I have never once had it spelled right. I always, always, always get Mellony, Mellany, Melissa or Melody. I even had one woman consistantly calling me Lemony, which I have no clue about.
My last name is hell for other people as well. When they read it, then try to pronounce it, I get called Noir, and if I say it, it always gets spelt Moyer. Its Moir.
My niece is called Katy. My sister spelt it like this on purpose, and yet no-one ever checks the spelling if they arent sure, or they just go right on ahead and spell it Katie. It’s KatY, not KatIE. Some people, being nice, ask how to spell it, which we prefer, but then they assume we’re idiots that can’t spell, and they just spell it IE anyway. Then there’s the other people who call her Catherine. KATY!!! not CATHERINE!! Geezo :/
ROISIN does not = RAISIN
My name is Jessica. Pretty simple and straight forward. But still there are people who ask me how to spell it or if it has two S. Most people just call me Jes/s anyway. But in school I constantly dealt with people who thought my name was Jennifer or Jackie or some other J name. My last name is hard enough on people that I dont really feel like my first name should cause such confusion when everyone born in 1984 was named Jessica. Ha. Now my nick name is a whole other story involving someone who couldnt properly spell “Pippi” as in Longstockings.
I am constantly getting called Jennifer, and have been my entire life! Being born in 1983, that guaranteed me at least one other Jessica in my class all the way through school, and still people would get it wrong. I was also constantly being called Jessie, a nickname I hated up until recently. (I’ve basically just given up on getting people to stop…) I actually did a Starbucks experiment where I would go into different shops and tell people my name was either Jessica or Jessie, and see what was written down. Without fail, it was always the name I didn’t say.
My name is Noella. Nothing about that seems hard, but I constantly get Nicole, Nora, Nicola etc. If you are reading it, take a moment to just sound it out. Not tough. Don’t even get me started on my maiden name, Schink. I can’t count how many butcherings I endured. My high school principal once called my name out Noella “Skank” at an assembly. Yup.
I am Megan. No one gets it wrong. Everyone remembers…because in 1985 or there abouts everyone and their cousin decided THIS was the bees knees of names. My best friend’s name is Megan. My husband’s band mate’s wife…is megan…and her sister-in-law…same name as her. My sister-in-law’s name…is megan. That’s right, my sister-o-law has the SAME name as me. Did I mention our brothers have the same name, Tod, as well? I should probably mention that my best friend was dating a Tod too. That’s three megan and Tods. The world is going to implode. Buut at least almost all of them are Megan Marie. I totally get to be original there with my ” Megan Mary”….
My name is Melissa. One L, two S’s. Not very complicated, right? You would think so, but no. I get Mellisa, Mellissa, Melysa, Malissa. I had an uncle that called me Lisa, but he was a ****. I had another uncle who called me Lissie, but that was an affectionate thing (that I didn’t appreciate). I tried Mel on for size for about a year, because I always thought girls called Mel were cooler than anyone named Melissa, but it never felt right. I still have friends who call me Mel, and I’m ok with that, but whenever I introduce myself to anyone it’s Melissa, one L, two S’s.
This is a great post…I don’t encounter problems with the pronunciation of Mackenzie but people are constantly spelling it McKenzie, which drives me insane–especially when they are writing me on Facebook…my name is write there!
Other name pet peeves are that I often go by Kenzie or Kenz but never Mack. I can’t stand when people call me Mack, because I don’t identify with it. I don’t feel like a Mack and I feel like it takes away my femininity and a large part of who I am. Last year I had a teacher who discovered I did not like being called Mack so then he did it just to get to me…even calling me Big Mac sometimes. He was not a good teacher and I did not appreciate it.
Additionally my surname is Morgan but people often decide that that’s my first name. New teachers always call me Morgan, (hello, my name is written Last, First just like every one else’s!). I have also had people reply to emails that I have signed ‘Mackenzie Morgan’ with ‘Dear Morgan,’ as if I have miss-signed my email and confused my names.
I also recently had a starbucks Barista write “McKenzsy” on my drink which is interesting because I’m not sure what sound “ZSY” makes….
Oops, right instead of write in the first paragraph!
Also, love the HelloGiggles authors in the word cloud!
i share the pain! power to the pronunciation!
It’s always irritating when people ask me how to spell Anna. Anna is always pronounced Anna, Ana (NOTE THE ONE N) should always be pronounced Ana. It’s pretty simple, but people don’t seem to get it. I blame those who tried to make their child’s name “different” by spelling it Anna but pronouncing it Ana.
Being Spanish and living in Ireland I get people pronouncing my name wrong on a daily basis. Somo of them are just lazy call me Stephanie or even Steph, can´t blame them. But I´m really touched when someone asks me to pronounce my name twice so they getit (ES-TE-PHA-NÍÍÍ-A, is it clear the stress goes on the i?
), I just have to love those people from that very same moment. Now, I have to say this have turned me into some kind of crazy woman, since I don´t even have a boyfriend and have already thought of names that would pronounce the same in English and Spanish so my children don´t have to go through the same problem 
You’d think that my name would be easy for people, but even people who I’ve known for years spell my name with an “i” in it. For example, I had a teacher in high school who would write little comments like “good job!” or “Nice try!” on every assignment she graded. I would put my name at the top of the page, and she would still spell in wrong when she wrote her comments. Even people from my own family get it wrong when addressing birthday cards or letters. I mean, come on, you have known me for 24 whole years and my name has always been spelt CLARE and you still can’t get it? Also, my middle initial is “K” and so from time to time when I’ve filled in a form where my name is all squished together I do get called Clark. My last name also often gets spelled Banford rather than Bamford, which is also annoying. People just don’t pay any attention.
Oh also, my Boyfriend has a really bad one. His name is Kjell, pronounced Shell. People who don’t know him often initially call him K-jell. I feel bad for him.
*mine for *my.
Haven’t they done studies to prove that our names is, in fact, our favorite word? How could we not be offended when it is mispronounced?
Chelsea, London. Chelsea, New York. Chelsea Football Club. Chelsea Clinton. Chelsea Handler. Chelsea Chelsea Chelsea….
Somehow, or other, I receive Chel-See-Uhh (no accent mark) on a regular basis. Let’s break up the name and pronounce it. CHEL-SEA. SEA, that word looks familiar, right? Apparently, not to most.
People ask why I don’t spell it Chelsie or Chelsey (which, by the way, both are considered misspelled words on this website, HAHA, and mine is spelled correctly). Why is my correct? Because it is the root name.
Ahhhhhh. Thanks for letting me rant about it.
Back home in England, my name (Kirsty) is reasonably common, everyone knows how to say it, it’s simple to spell. Since I moved to Canada nobody can get it right I get Chrissy, Kristy, Kirsten, Christine, so I decided to go by one of my (many) nicknames: Kiki, it’s easier and I like it, it makes me feel like I’m a different person, in a GOOD way.
When I was at school, I used to get so many different variations of my name. People knew my name wasn’t the usual spelling of but couldn’t remember what the proper spelling was so they just made up any number of weird and wacky variations to make up for it!
My name is the Welsh version of Catherine and the Irish Caitlin and you pronounce it Cat -rin; I have lost count how many people either have to have it repeated a few times or call me Catherine!
When I book a taxi/tickets etc. I give my surname which usually works out fine but a couple of weeks ago in Satbucks I went and ordered a drink for my sister and I, they asked for my name and I said Morgan. Eventually had the drinks, went to sit with my sister, barley started drinking when my sister laughs so I ask her what’s funny and she tells me to look at what they’ve written on the cups. As you’ve probably guessed they didn’t write Morgan, no, somehow from Morgan they got – wait for it- Molly!
Apparently my name either way is a lost cause lol My friends sister name her baby girl Layla, now that name I’d love!
AHHHHH a fellow Welsh name! I honestly don’t think my name has any sort of English counterpart, but you can see the various mispronunciation possibilities. It’s supposed to be pronounced as if the “y” is an “i”, as in “it”, but everyone either elongates the y to get “Gl-eye-niss” or comes up with their own weird pronunciation. One coach called me Liz for about 6 months. Really, the worst is that it’s just such an uncommon name is that it really proves how little people listen to others, because NO ONE ever gets it on the first try. Any time I introduce myself I have to say my name at least 4 times.
I hate it when people mispronounce my name, especially when they act like they’re entitled to. I’ve always been careful to learn the exact way to say people’s first and last names, ever since I had a receptionist job. I’m Katie. People call me “Kathy” or even – get this – “Kathereen!” Is that even a name? How common is Katherine that these weirdos can’t pronounce it?