If you’re feeling blue, don’t hesitate to use my ten go-to, never-fail, self-soothing techniques. I like to call it therapy for the bourgeoisie (emotional college girls).
1. Go to your local thrift store. buy a “Bill Cosby” sweater two sizes too big for a dollar or two. Wear said sweater with some shorts and tights, and look super hip while also feeling suuuper skinny in your giant sweater!
2. Do as Michelle did in Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion and stick your tongue out at young children.
3. Drink a Four Loko. The yellow kind, not the blue kind, you classless monster.
4. Go a step further and treat yourself to a box of wine (if you’re of age)… you deserve it!
5. If you’re single, go to your local bookstore, coffee shop, Whole Foods, bar, 7-11 (depending on your taste),whatever and stare at attractive boys/men/women. If you have a significant other, make them reenact the, “drink your milkshake” scene from There Will Be Blood. This will either make you laugh or put you in a worse mood. This technique is tricky for sure.
6. Watch a Molly Ringwald/John Hughes flick, duh. Do I really need to tell you these things?!
7. Eat anything Italian. Carbohydrates are your friend.
8. Watch an entire Real Housewives marathon, preferably OC or NJ. That show will easily knock a few hours out of your day.
9. Sing along to Bikini Kill really, really loudly, in your underwear.
10. Whatever you do, do not, I repeat do not, go on Facebook, Twitter, or peep your high school yearbook.
Okay guys, love you, feel better. xo
by Kristina J. Tuason