It’s a long weekend and the weather is getting hotter, which means outdoor BBQ party season is upon us!
That also means that you will probably be in a grocery store soon deciding what you’re going to bring (besides your wit, style and smile) to the party.
Before you decide, consider for a moment what the things that you bring to a holiday BBQ might say about you:
Bag of Chips “I wanted to come to this party, but I didn’t want to put any effort into it.”
Watermelon “It’s summer, right? So, it’s okay to spit seeds on the ground, right?”
Vodka Watermelon “It’s summer, right? So, it’s okay to spend weeks planning the most creative way to give my friends a violent hangover, right?”
Meat “Look how thoughtful I am. I knew we’d need more meat!”
Buns “Look how thoughtful I am!! I just assumed we’d need more bread.”
Pasta Salad “I can’t wait to be a homemaker.”
Vegetable Plate “I thought the people at this party could do with a reminder that it is bikini season. Ahem.”
Cole Slaw “Someone had to bring it, right?”
Beer “I plan to get so absolutely drunk tonight that the 100 cans of Budweiser you already bought for this party will not be enough.”
White Wine “I plan to get very, very drunk tonight, but in a way that won’t stain my white sundress if I spill on myself.”
Red Wine “I plan to get very, very, very drunk tonight because I will hide this bottle of wine in a cabinet in your kitchen and then when people ask me where I got red wine since they didn’t see any on the table I will shrug and say I must have finished the bottle. Ha ha ha. Hiccup.”*
Store Bought Pie “I know what the people want! Pie!”
Homemade Pie “I know what the people want! To tell me how good I am at making pie!”
Napkins “I tried. Okay, fine, I didn’t try. Where did that drunk girl get that red wine?”
Freshly Made Guacamole “You’re welcome.”
*The author of this piece might have done this at an actual party before. Or several parties.
BBQ image via Shutterstock