Call me sheltered, I may or may not be like most 29 year olds out there but I don’t really understand all the hype about sex. I do know the ins and outs of humans and to be honest a lot of it grosses me out. Words in particular like ‘moist’ and ‘wet’ and another “c” word I wont mention do my head in, as much as people texting words incorrectly in a sexual way. The word “come” is four letters. It’s only one more letter, seriously people. Am I a prude? Maybe. I like to think “old fashioned” is a nicer term. I certainly don’t understand why men and women think showing more flesh is sexy. You can be just as sexy without your boobs falling out. It’s the way you use the clothes and your confidence. I guess that’s why the brazilian was invented. For those who like to flash some flesh. I think if I was a man and saw a woman flashing her lady parts in a dress that’s basically a long belt, I would turn to the girl that looked warm and comfortable in her clothes. She’s not going to complain she’s freezing later so I have to give up my jumper to her so I’m cold. Just saying…if I was a guy. But I’m not, and I’m sure most men don’t think that way.
A few weeks ago I ordered the party outfit I’m wearing to my ’80s birthday party. I was pretty stoked to find a Madonna styled hot pink and black lace dress. I figured it wouldn’t be absolute quality, it was about $40.00 AUD and it came with free shipping and all accessories. I was so excited when it arrived. I ordered it in plenty of time as our postal service in the rural area is pretty slow. I opened the package at work. The dress came out in a slump, then there was another crinkly plastic bag for the accessories. The necklace, the belt with a bow, black lace cuffs and…a hot pink triangular pirate patch? I didn’t remember that being a part of the deal. I read the description again.
Adult Ladies Madonna 80s Pop Star Costume
A wicked cool sexy style.
Dress with lace
Black waist bow belt.
Hot pink Cuffs.
Neck beads. (You will receive one long beads, which can be tie into a knot).
Other accessories are not included.
I copied that directly from the advert. Grammar mistakes and all. I should have known something was up when the byline was “A wicked cool sexy style” and the accessories included pink cuffs. But who was I to assume…women may have worn them in the 80s…they wore lace gloves and leg warmers, why not lace cuffs?
The one accessory failed to be mentioned was the pirate patch or what it actually was. A G-string (or thong). And it wasn’t even that. It was magenta, and made from the scratchiest material I could imagine, I wouldn’t want that between my cheeks so to speak. I’ve stayed at two star motels with softer toilet paper than that. I mean there is nothing wrong with wearing them, I don’t personally, but if that’s your thing then it is. I’m sure the right ones might be comfortable. But I don’t see the point in it coming with my costume and the need to sexualise all women’s costumes these days. Halloween, hen’s parties, any kind of drunken get together seems to result in tight and tiny costumes.
The worst part is how sexualisation is extending to the younger generations. When I was twelve I only wore make-up for fun at home when I played dress-ups. Now so many young girls think they’re contestants on Toddlers and Tiaras. It’s really sad to see parents letting their children dress that way. Just recently Disney has been in hot water for the sexualisation of Merida the princess from Brave. There is a petition to stop Disney from changing the naturally beautiful princess. I think that there is a time and a place. Children should just be children, they aren’t mini adults as they were considered in the Middle Ages but it seems society is slipping back a few notches with children having all the benefits of adults.
But I digress, and so after finding the “pirate patch” I was worried the dress was made to show it. Luckily not, and the skirt is actually knee length on my short legs. I’ve opted not to wear the string, it would be too breezy for a winter night anyway, I think I’ll stick with briefs and some leggings for a wintry night. As adults we don’t get to play dress-ups often, so I’m taking advantage of the times I can. Children are lucky, they can do it and should do it a lot. It’s good for the imagination. But maybe as adults…could we keep the sexy dress-ups for the bedroom?
Read more from Rachael Morgan here.
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