Faith Forays

What If God Doesn't Care About Your Vagina?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up! Yes, I just put “God” and “Vagina” in the same sentence. Let us not forget that according to the creation account of Genesis (which for the record, I believe is a beautiful allegorical story and not, in fact, SCIENCE), God clearly states that both man AND woman are made in the image of God. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure we could make a very good case for at least one member of the trinity having a vagina.

I’m sorry, this isn’t what I’m going to talk about today. Today, I’m going to address the idea that as a woman in the church, your worth is determined by your sustained (or lack of) virginity. Abstaining from sex is basically like, the best way to show you’re a church-y person, according to the major churches and politicians in America today. With all that hoo-rah this past election season about legislating your hoo-hah, you’d think that America believes the value of its women should be determined by all the sex they’re not supposed to be having.

Listen. It’s up to you if you don’t want to have sex. If you want to wait ’til you’re comfortable enough with your body, if you want to wait until you’re in love, if you want to wait until your wedding night, these are all really great and valid things to decide about having sex. If you’ve had sex before and feel like you need to abstain for some time, that’s also valid. If you want to engage in sexytimes galore, that’s up to you too! Because the marvelous thing is, sex is great, and you get to decide when and where you’re going to engage in that.

Right now, over 80% of young evangelical Christians in the church are regularly having sex without putting a ring on it. So, it’s basically happening all over the place, and to those engaging in it, it’s obviously not something that they feel impedes their ability to be a good person or a person of faith. But there’s a sneaky guilt-complex built in to church today that basically implies that if a woman is having sex “outside of the confines of marriage” (geez do I loathe that phrase), they’re essentially going to burn in hell for all eternity. You could be doing everything else right and feel that you have a thriving relationship with the God you choose, but, hey, if you let someone else see your lady parts you are in BIG TROUBLE with the BIG GUY.

I’m here to propose a radical idea to us: God doesn’t care all that much about your vagina. Yes, sex affects you. It’s a meaningful act. But don’t you think God, perhaps, has bigger things to worry about? Like if you’re being kind to those around you; or maybe if you’re contributing to your community in a positive way. Maybe God cares more about how we treat other people than he does about how we enjoy the bodies we live in. I find it hard to fathom that a woman could be a back-stabbing, gossiping, selfish, materialistic person who just so happens to not be having sex, and still be considered “better” or “holier” than a kind-hearted lady who happens to be having sex. Does God really work that way? Heck, does morality work like that? There’s so much more to us than just sex. We are hearts, minds, emotions, dreams, goals, laughter, academics, friends, sisters, and lovers. I don’t think God has such a narrow view of who women are as humans. I don’t think God limits us to what we do in bed. I was talking to a friend recently and said, “God is not the God of SOLELY YOUR VAGINA.” Honestly, that’s not God’s priority. When church focuses on our sex lives, to the exclusion of all else, church limits us to something less-than human. We’re no longer souls, our hearts beating with passion. We’re defined by our sexual decisions. Isn’t that a shame? I wonder what it would be like if church, instead of focusing on who does what in which bed, decided that there were more important things in life to worry about. Like, perhaps, what’s in our hearts.

Image via Shutterstock

  • Jocelyn Cook

    I am a Christian and I think you hit it right on the head with your final sentences starting with this phrase :”When church focuses on our sex lives, to the exclusion of all else, church limits us to something less-than human. ” YES the church focuses on Sex way too much, but I was very happy to see you nailed it with the ending sentence. The church needs to focus on what is in our hearts. Yes, lust can be bad, yes it can distract you but lust is no greater sin than any other. Sin is equal and all too often the church puts in this hierarchy of evil. I saw the title and was prepared for a rant that didn’t touch the actual issue at hand and was happily surprised.

  • Kimberly Block

    I wouldn’t blame the church. If a church is made up of humans, blame humans. God put all sin on one level. No sin is worse than another, because any sin separates us from God and the punishment is death and hell (Praise God for his grace and sacrifice of his son). But as humans we see certain sins as worse than others. If most humans for a long time see that murder or adultry is so much worse than gossiping and lying, well old habits die hard, look at slavery -> segregation -> racism. Humans are messed up, we all sin and we can’t be perfect. So praise Jesus that God forgives!

  • Jessica May Bryant

    While I agree with the main point of this article, there are some parts I’m not so sure about.
    I think God cares very much about my vagina, and that to me is a beautiful thing. He created it afterall. While I agree that our worth shouldn’t be determined based on our sexuality, I think it’s important that we honor God with our sexuality as well as the rest of us. This means striving for a life of purity and holiness.
    That being said, I do agree that the heart is more important. But, if you believe that you’re saved, and your body is the temple of the holy spirit, doesn’t it make sense that he would care what (or who) you put in it?
    So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think it’s important that we strive to make biblical choices when it comes to all areas of our lives (including the sexy stuff) but we shouldn’t judge eachother for when we fall short in any area, including the sexy stuff.

    • Cheryl Hutchins

      Really well said, Jessica. You summed up my views before I even had time to write them.

      God’s priorities in our lives include a vast array of things, not focusing singularly on sex or loving your neighbors or addictions, etc– all with the purpose of bringing us closer to the character of Jesus. We can’t put the focus of one characteristic of Him (say, sexuality) at a higher priority than others. I absolutely agree with the author that sexuality is not the sole determining factor of faith and walking with Jesus, but because it’s such a prominent and important theme in the Bible (and let’s be honest, in our lives) it can’t be ignored and excluded either. Faith affects all of you, not just isolated parts of you.

  • Alycia Lourim

    this article is amazing. I am not religious, but I have many friends who are that would agree with this completely and they have the most amazing hearts that I have ever met. thank you for taking the time to write this. god loves us all.

  • Kerry Alsheimer

    Amen, sister.

  • Clarisa Howe

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  • Clarisa Howe

    I recently heard something that I think is well worth repeating (though it was originally concerning homosexuality I believe the issue is the same) “God did not say ‘be [virgin] for I am [virgin]’ but ‘Be Holy for I AM Holy’ (lev. 11:44) our sexuality should not be our identity, but our identity should be Christlikeness.”

  • Victoria Haze

    god does not exist

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