I love Seinfeld. My sister and I can recite a plethora of quotes from all nine seasons. I would really love a reunion show, like, stat. I own practically all the seasons and honestly, I can never get bored of them. Seinfeld still makes me laugh just as much as it did when I first saw it. I don’t know too many Seinfeld fans; in fact, my sister and a co-worker are the only ones that get my quotes and you know what? That’s okay. It makes us that much cooler, muhahaha. With nine seasons, you can bet there is much to be learned and here’s what Seinfeld taught me:
Serenity now will only lead to insanity later.
Consider whether or not he is truly sponge-worthy; make them count.
There’s nothing more pathetic than a grown man afraid of women.
If you’re a woman without any female friends, then that’s because you’re a “Man’s Woman”; you hate other women and they hate you.
When purchasing an apartment, always ask “What’s the rent?” before showing interest.
Keep it simple when ordering soup from the soup nazi or else “no soup for you”.
When life isn’t working out for you, do the opposite of everything. Up is down, down is up; you say goodbye when you enter and hello when you leave.
If someone buys you cashmere sweater, then it’s probably damaged and you should search for a red dot.
The only warning label people really respect is dry-clean only. Speed limits, lung cancer, cigarette warnings – your very life is at stake and people just go, “Aah, the hell with it!” But dry-clean only? “Don’t put that in the wash!!! It’s dry-clean only! ARE YOU CRAZY?!”
No one wants to hear about how happy the two of you are. If you can’t say something bad about a relationship, you shouldn’t say anything at all.
Being master of your domain is no easy task; don’t make a bet you’ll be sure to lose.
Be sure to always return you library books or they will find you even after 10+ years.
Going out with someone only because he is good-looking? Not okay for a woman, but somehow it’s different for a man; they are expected to be superficial.
Men can sit through the most boring movie if there’s even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off.
When you ask someone about their relationship and he/she touches his/her face, you know it’s not going too well.
The higher up on the face you go, the worse the relationship is getting.
If you ever get a ticket for public urination, try out this excuse:
“You know, I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the city.”
If you’ve been out with a person seven times, you have to break up with them face-to-face.
If it’s been six times, it’s okay to do it over the phone, but seven dates makes it a face-to-face break-up.
When thinking over other options after quitting your job, you might realize that it could have been a huge mistake.That you did not completely think it through. What do you do? Just go back. Pretend like it never happened. You’re an emotional person. People don’t take you seriously. Just pretend the whole thing never happened.
You can bet there will be more parts to this post loves.
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