Oh, wedding season. What a special time in our lives. A time of love, commitment, celebrations…open bars. Oh, and plus ones. If you don’t have a steady plus one, you might not be dancing a little jig when you get those invitations. Convincing a boy you met at a bar last weekend to attend a friend of a friend’s wedding for your “first date” is no easy task. (I mean, I’m just assuming…) And nobody wants to be the one screwing up seating arrangements, am I right? Brides can be scary ladies. But never fear! Attending a wedding minus a plus one (or “by yourself” for those of us who aren’t into math) can be a killer time. Here are a few things I’ve learned about having fun while seeing your friends and family off to wedded bliss.
1) Wrangle your way into the wedding party. If you’re a bridesmaid (or groomsman), you have the perfect excuse for not bringing a date. You’ll be too busy to pay attention to them! You need to be available at any time to help the bride go to the bathroom (yeah, it happens – it’s not all glamor up in that wedding gown). You need to lead the Electric Slide. You need to ensure the groom’s drink is topped off at all times. You need to lead the Cha Cha Slide. (What’s the deal with all the slides?) You need to focus on flirting with the other single wedding party members. I mean, it would be just plain inconsiderate of you to bring a date. See what I did there? Making lemonade out of lemons.
2) Whatever you do, do not (under any circumstance) say the word “divorce” while giving a toast. Seriously. I have witnessed this unfortunate event and the only thing you’ll get in return is crickets from the audience. And a death stare from the bride. You do not want either of those things.
3) Take it easy on the cocktails. Please don’t be that girl. Yes, I know. It’s an open bar. But keep it in check, ladies. If you end up barefoot on the dance floor with your mascara running down your face flashing everyone your panties (related: always wear panties) during your rendition of ‘Single Ladies’, you will regret it in the morning. It’s a hot mess and you want no part of it. Keep it classy.
4) Don’t throw an elbow trying to catch the bouquet. This can come off as somewhat, shall we say…desperate. I hate to break it to you, but catching it doesn’t mean you’re next. It just means you knocked over the 4-year-old flower girl to win.
5) Don’t be a Bitter Betty just because it’s not your turn yet. For some reason, beautiful, successful, awesome ladies can turn into jealous meanies during wedding season. I once heard a bridesmaid turn her entire toast into a pity party for her single life. Bitterness doesn’t look good on anyone, kids. Just enjoy the party and be glad that you don’t have to write out 250 thank-you notes afterwards.
Really, I’ve had some of the best times at weddings I’ve gone to without a date. It’s a great excuse to make new friends and party like a rock star (a responsible rock star, obviously – see #3 above). Plus, you get to look fabulous and hang with your friends on one of the happiest days of their lives. Sounds fun, eh? It is. Except the chicken dance. Nobody really likes the chicken dance.
You can read more from Kate Royer on her blog.
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