The other day, my family and I went to a local park. My husband called me in the middle of the day and asked if I wanted to take them – I had planned on dragging both kids shopping with my mom and that sort of seemed like a horrible idea to begin with, so I happily replied yes.
We met up at the park and this guy who looked like Weston Cage (Nicholas Cage’s son, the one who beat up his trainer because the trainer suggested he order something less fattening on a menu) was dressed in full Goth but was in his forties and was giving me crazy looks.
It was really weird. Not just once or twice, but the entire time we were there he was MAD DOGGING me. I felt so uncomfortable. His stare was making my soul cringe. He started to follow me around the park even though he was there with a little girl. So I said, “Sunny, we have to go.” She kept playing closer and closer to this man who was really scaring me. At one point, my husband starting laughing and asking me if this was really happening. But I really didn’t think this was funny. I kept asking Sunny to get in the car and she kept saying she was having so much fun that she’s “not going anywhere”. I bribed her with candy that I said I had in the car… nothing. I offered to get her an ice cream and she refused. She said, “I’m not getting in the car mommy.”
So I panicked and I said what a totally rational adult would. “Sunny, we have to leave right now or Mommy’s going to jail.” Okay, don’t judge, I freaked and it was the only way I knew to get her out of there. And it worked.
The problem is, over Thanksgiving dinner, she kept saying, “The scary man is going to put mommy in jail,” and at first it was funny but then I really wanted her to stop. But she continued on for the next few days, telling anyone who would listen while I nervously laughed and explained that Sunny has a funny imagination.
Knowing that Sunny would sacrifice some more time on the swings to me potentially going to jail made me think Sunny loves me very much. Strangely, I now have this bizarre fear of Weston Cage.