The other day, my family and I went to a local park. My husband called me in the middle of the day and asked if I wanted to take them – I had planned on dragging both kids shopping with my mom and that sort of seemed like a horrible idea to begin with, so I happily replied yes.
We met up at the park and this guy who looked like Weston Cage (Nicholas Cage’s son, the one who beat up his trainer because the trainer suggested he order something less fattening on a menu) was dressed in full Goth but was in his forties and was giving me crazy looks.
It was really weird. Not just once or twice, but the entire time we were there he was MAD DOGGING me. I felt so uncomfortable. His stare was making my soul cringe. He started to follow me around the park even though he was there with a little girl. So I said, “Sunny, we have to go.” She kept playing closer and closer to this man who was really scaring me. At one point, my husband starting laughing and asking me if this was really happening. But I really didn’t think this was funny. I kept asking Sunny to get in the car and she kept saying she was having so much fun that she’s “not going anywhere”. I bribed her with candy that I said I had in the car… nothing. I offered to get her an ice cream and she refused. She said, “I’m not getting in the car mommy.”
So I panicked and I said what a totally rational adult would. “Sunny, we have to leave right now or Mommy’s going to jail.” Okay, don’t judge, I freaked and it was the only way I knew to get her out of there. And it worked.
The problem is, over Thanksgiving dinner, she kept saying, “The scary man is going to put mommy in jail,” and at first it was funny but then I really wanted her to stop. But she continued on for the next few days, telling anyone who would listen while I nervously laughed and explained that Sunny has a funny imagination.
Knowing that Sunny would sacrifice some more time on the swings to me potentially going to jail made me think Sunny loves me very much. Strangely, I now have this bizarre fear of Weston Cage.
I think I’ve mentioned this point before but if a white lie is so harmful why do we have Santa.? Care bears? Disneyland? A waiter told my son it was restaurant policy that no desserts were given to kids who didn’t eat all their food……. Jacob ate his food inlike 5 seconds…no whining… And he got his scoop of ice-cream…. Problem solved everyone happy…. Its a bold statement and I believe an incorrect one to say white lies lead to mistrust…..
I think funny lies you tell your kids can become great family jokes when they get older. When I was little, whenever I would ask a question my mother didn’t know the answer too, or didn’t feel like explaining the answer, she would just say “Fairies do it!” After Christmas when there would be tinsel everywhere in the yard from dragging the tree out, my mom would look out the window and go “Look! Jen, there’s fairies out there!” and then probably laugh her ass off at me when I went to go find them at top speed. Stuff like that is harmless fun, and it creates a sense of wonder for kids. The only time I can remember being harmed in any way was when my mom fed me liver and told me it was steak. Ugh.
My mom told me all kinds of stuff along the lines you tell your daughter and I turned out pretty normal:) The only real one that ever came back to get me in trouble (and by trouble I mean laughed at) was when I was in third grade and we were discussing how clouds were formed and I told the class that “God takes a paintbrush and goes POOF where he wants a cloud” since that was what my mom said when I asked her. That was the end of my raising my hand in science that year. So besides that, keep up the great work and I am sure that I will do the same when I have kids.
Thank you Elizabeth for your encouraging words. I always take the same stance: I do things with a sense of humor and I would never ever hurt my child or do anything detrimental to her. Stretching the truth is a VERY old trick used by parents for centuries. I’m so proud of my daughter and the wonderful person she is
Smart move! Saw you on CBS this morning; I disagree with the psychologist who said you were being dishonest and that your daughter would grow to distrust you. The “lies” you use are white lies, and maybe they are true! Maybe eating shrimp can help muscles used for swimming. Don’t we all promote the idea that eating spinach makes you stronger? Popeye says so, and that’s good enough for me. And, hey, maybe you would have a gate put up if your child kept coming out of the bedroom at night. When my children were young I induced guilt if they did something mean or dishonest. I call it helping a child to develop a conscience. They’ve all turned out to be ethical adults with a good conscience, and they are not overly guilt-ridden.
This really made me laugh!
Super funny! At least you know your daughter cares for you a lot
loved this post Julia!
I adore your posts!
Thank u so much:)
hahaha I do this too often. Everything is “we have to do this or else mommy will get arrested by cops” or once I told my son (because he’s 3 and no longer wants hugs) that God told me I had to hug and kiss him every day.
Dude, we were at the park last weekend, and this like 50 year old guy with a professional-type camera and a chihuahua was sitting there taking pictures of the kids at the park. I was just slightly weirded out until I realized by eavesdropping on his conversations with the parents there that he in fact did not know ANYONE at the park and was just taking pictures of the kids for fun. With a dog.
We left immediately.
ew! call the cops!
Awesome! But just a side note: Weston Cage got HIS a** handed to him (with a side of those fatty fries he wanted so much) by his trainer.