Lies I Tell My Daughter

We Can't Turn the Radio On, It's Charging

I have nothing against Justin Bieber. In fact, I’m sure he’s a really good person and he seems like an amazing boyfriend to Selena Gomez. I just don’t know why I have to be forced to listen to ‘Baby’ over and over again whenever I’m in the car with my daughter Sunny. I also don’t think it’s fair that if I put on anyone other than Justin Bieber or Britney (like my all time fave Michael Jackson), she puts her fingers in her ears and starts screaming at the top of her lungs for me to “turn it off!” If I don’t turn off my favorite songs right away, she starts crying hysterically. And you don’t even want to know what happens when Cee-Lo accidentally comes on.

I pick up Sunny from school and her first request is always for me to turn on some music. I humor her by putting on Justin Bieber first because watching her dance in my rearview mirror might be the cutest thing ever. But then all I hear over and over and over again is, “Baby baby baby, oooh, like, baby baby baby…oohh!” Then she does the Ludacris part by moving her hands spastically in a way like she’s pretending to rap even though she totally doesn’t know the words.

Baby, baby baby oohh, like, baby baby baby, ooh. I’m starting to freak. I can’t deal. I begin to hate Justin Bieber and wish Usher had never discovered him. I start thinking horrible, violent thoughts about this 17-year-old kid who I don’t know.

“You know what? I don’t want to listen to this anymore, can we turn something else on?”

“NO, Mommy, NO.”  Well guess what? Our radio just died. It needs to charge. And unfortunately, sometimes car radio chargers take FOREVER.