We here at Broke Girl’s Guide pride ourselves on resourcefulness. We know how to eat, drink, dress, travel, entertain and more on salaries that would make the 1% weep. In the past, we’ve even taught you how to snag elusive A-list hotties (Ryan Gosling, Jason Segel and Michael Fassbender) with a G-list bank account. Since we’re here to help, we thought we’d take some time today to point out the 10 behaviors that are most detrimental to your wallet so that you can beware them all. We’re hoping that this list will prevent you from making the same mistakes that we’ve made — and maybe, someday, you’ll find yourself pushing Bentleys on the “Rich Girl’s Guide”.
1. Get your PhD. In English.
2. Pick up your next boyfriend at Burning Man. (Extra points if he’s shirtless, bearded, and carrying an acoustic guitar.)
3. Give birth.
4. Shop at Whole Foods.
5. Have a large circle of attractive, smart and successful girlfriends who will inevitably get picked off for marriage so that you spend the better part of a decade buying them engagement/wedding/baby gifts with money you don’t have.
6. Believe maxims like “do what you love and the money will come.” Because you believe them, don’t go to law school.
7. Open credit cards, then max them out with the understanding that you’re going to “make it” soon and be able to pay them off in one fell swoop.
8. Loan large sums of cash to fellow Broke Girl friends and relations. DO NOT get receipts.
9. Lease, rent, layaway, repeat.
10. DO NOT sign up for free daily emails from brokegirlsguide.com. With tons of tips and tricks for living the high life on a dime, BGG will have you dropping your savings-draining-proclivities in no time.
Obviously, what we mean is…sign up, you crazy broke girls! We can help you out no matter where you live. While we’re currently LA-based, our Everywhere version launches May 1st, which is great news for bearded-boy-loving, credit-card-maxing PhD candidates all across the country!
*Please note that eating money (as demonstrated in the above photo) is also NOT recommended for those trying to keep their bank account out of the red.