I love going on walks. It’s a great way to see people and places. They are refreshing and I always feel more energized after. But the one thing that gets in the way of my walking endeavors is wedgies. Is there any way to fix this embarrassing problem without looking like a creep? The answer is yes and here’s how you can pick your wedgie without detection.
Change Your Stride:
Pretend you’re doing some sort of stretching/lunging exercise and make your stride much longer than normal. People would never guess you had a wedgie, they would just think “Wow this person is really into working out. Look at that stride.” They’ll be amazed.
Another option is to make your stride extremely short, if you think that’s the best way to fix your dilemma. Going the short-stride route, however, might require a bit more creativity to make it look like a believable exercise. To add some exercise flair to your short stride I suggest developing a small hop or prance-like step by walking on your tiptoes. The short stride is a truly elegant step, one that should be used wisely and sparingly. So, I recommend saving it for fancier events.
If you suffer from wedgies too frequently to constantly be changing up your stride, you’re going to want to conceal your wedgie pick. You might need to change up your wardrobe to arm yourself with cover-up option. Use a purse as a shield against watching eyes. You can also use a grocery shopping bag. If you don’t have either of these bags, pick up a large leaf, tree branch, or a piece of garbage (anything large enough you find on the ground) and conceal yourself with it. These items, however, may be more trouble to pick up than their worth and a purse might not offer the coverage you need. That’s why, I believe, backpacks offer an even better solution. Backpacks not only cover the whole wedgie area but they also have the added bonus of weight and security. By making your backpack extra heavy you are adding an extra layer of immovable coverage. To take your backpack to the next level of security, fasten the backpack buckle around your waist real tight. Now that backpack won’t go anywhere, but you know who will? You wedgie-free.
Turn a Blind Eye and Immobilize your Hand:
If you don’t have an object you can conceal your wedgie with and if backpacks aren’t your style, then you can always try to ignore your wedgie and just keep on walking. This, however, requires a lot of willpower and I applaud you for your fearlessness. If you choose to ignore you should be careful about running into people you might know. I know the only thing on my mind would be my wedgie. They could be telling me something really important, but in my head all I’d be thinking about was my wedgie and if they had a wedgie, and anything wedgie related. I guarantee the conversation would get weird. So, just be prepared to end your conversations quickly or attempt to dodge them completely. Give this person the same amount of attention as your wedgie. None.
So, with a new stride, or your concealing object of choice or your sheer tenacity you’re ready to walk with pride, with grace, and most importantly worry-free…of wedgies.
Featured image via walk at home.